


Forward

by winterhats



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Memory Loss, Mentions of Suicide, Other, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:56:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterhats/pseuds/winterhats
Summary: To know but to not remember is actually more painful than not remembering at all.(Post STR. Haruka deals with his memory loss, learning about friends, and falling in love all over again with the same person he's forgotten.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DO I EVEN LOOK LIKE I CARE THIS FANDOM'S DEAD NO I DON'T AND I'M WRITING A MULTI-CHAP FIC ABOUT MY SON BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO
> 
> Haruka's very important to me and I want to write about his struggle after str and not remembering anything. Look I don't care if they part ways in canon. They're all happy and BONDING WITH HIM in this and it will be just stupid.

When he wakes up, he's immediately welcomed by dazzled lights, the strong smell of chemicals and a loud beeping ringing through his ears. His first thought is that it felt familiar. His second thought, is that he doesn't like it.

As soon as he tries making the slightest movement with his arms, he feels the tubes sticking to his wrists and the cannulas tucked under his nose. His head ached with pain at each word he processed in his mind, so he decided to close his eyes again and wish it away.

He doesn't take long to open them and give that idea up; something told him it wouldn't really work. Instead, he chooses to ignore how much it hurt, and tries to focus on the current situation. He isn't sure where he was at, or what was happening, but he had the faint feeling that it wasn't anything new.

A door slids open almost magically, as if they knew he was now conscious, and it's closed back with not much grace. He locks eyes with the nurse, who seems to be dumbfounded in place as soon as she shifts her gaze from her clipboard to him.

"Hello," he says, because it seemes like the right thing to say. Plus, maybe this lady could actually help him up or something. He frowns when that doesn't seem to be what she has in mind.

"Oh," is all she answers, finally a hint of a nervous smile tracing her mouth. "You're awake. I'll, um, I'll let the doctors know. Please stay there."

"Wait!" he intends to shout, but he realizes that he's apparently not made for it. It felt like his own voice scratched his throat and he only managed to sound raspy, and not even that loud. It wasn't enough to make the nurse stop, either, so he's left by himself again.

He takes a few minutes to figure out that he's at the hospital. He isn't sure how he knows what a hospital is, though.

The nurse did as she told him, and soon the room was crowded by different people asking him questions and approaching needles to him. Ah, it felt so painfully familiar that he decides that it's worth repeating he doesn't like it one bit.

"Do you know where you are?" one of the doctors eventually asks, and he feels a bit relieved now that everyone was leaving him alone. They were even leaving the room, so that was nice. He felt like this one doctor was about to torture him with questions though, and right now, he isn't even sure what a question _is_ , so he doubts that will go well.

"The hospital?" he answers, as if hesitating, and mentally beams at himself when the woman offers a smile for him.

"What is the last thing you remember?" he didn't like that question, he decides.

There isn't a _last_  thing he remembers. If there's anything in his head, it has no order, so there was no way to know. He just answers with the most clear thing in mind of what could be considered a memory instead, "The hospital."

"... _This_  hospital?"

He'd like to say that he actually remembers just white and a bed, so he assumed that was a hospital but to be honest, he wasn't really sure. He just shakes his head no as an answer, because it looked nothing like this room. It looked nothing like any room, actually.

She tries asking what else he remembers and all he says is that he knows he hates this place and that his name is Haruka. He doesn't remember his last name though, and he doesn't know if he should trust the doctor when she says it's Kokonose.

That's everything so far, and she just frowns, scribling down something on her clipboard.

"You do know you're suffering from amnesia, right?" he taps his fingers on the bed when she says this, humming as if uninterested. It somehow doesn't impress him, as severe as it sounds. The doctor, however, sounded genuinely worried over it. "It's... it's a pretty strange case, just so you know. I mean, perhaps you aren't in the state to process it, but we haven't found any damage that could cause memory loss nor any–"

"Sorry to interrupt you, but," he cuts her off, hesitantly, trying not to sound rude. "But when can I go? I don't want to be here."

"I'm not sure," she answers, unaffected by his interruption. "As I said. You're weak from your comatose but that's all. You should be able to leave soon. There's people waiting for you outside, though. Should I send them in, or do you perhaps want to rest some more?"

His eyes do flicker open at that. Then, so far, he knows that he's Haruka, that he's at the hospital right now and apparently he's here pretty often and, here's the new addition; he knows it's odd for people to visit him.

_...That's sad. I wish I remained unaware of that._

As he's taking long to answer, the doctor keeps rambling,

"If you say yes, I'm afraid I can't let them all into your room like that," she starts, and now that he takes a better look at her, Haruka notes that she must be some unexperienced, just graduated woman, because of how fidgety she looks. Hm, with time she'll become cold, he guesses. Everyone does, in a place like this. He wonders if that happened to him, because he doesn't feel like it did. "When I called your name to see who was waiting, a group of around ten people stood up...!"

He grimaces a little. Ten people? That sounds way too unreal. Finally, though, he pulls up an answer, "Sure, uh... bring them in?"

"I'm just letting two or three, alright?"

Haruka ignores her last statement before she awkwardly makes her way out. _She's definitely new._

It's silent for a bit, and he takes the chanc to collect himself and try making his growing headache a bit more bearable by just wishing for it to stop, or to at least go easy on him. Suffering the pain that comes with it, Haruka manages himself upwards on a kind of-sitting position.

He glances at the side of the bed, and raises an eyebrow at a black and orange notepad. That's his. He _knows_  it's his, there's no doubt, and that he's rather fond of it. He also finds himself wondering how did it survive, for some reason.

Before he could reach out to it, three more people enter the room, and he almost groans until he remembers that the doctor was letting in people who wanted to see _him_. That meant no more doctors. It probably meant more questions. But maybe it also meant more clues of what was happening and who he was, so he might as well ignore his own weak limbs and make himself look at them.

They aren't wearing hospital clothes, those are good news. They, also definitely, are people he knew. But it made less sense than everything; he felt like it was utterly ridiculous for him to not know the names of these people, who he's sure to have never seen before.

It was a boy and two girls, and they quickly rush to his side, as focused on him as he was on them. The doctor leaves the room after mumbling an "I'll come back later."

Despite that was indeed the case, no one said anything. The three of them just stood there, and Haruka realizes they seem to be trying not to cry.

He wasn't sure about anything, but he was aware that he knew about the essential. He did know this was a hospital, he did know a person has a name and a last name, he did know the difference between casual clothes and a hospital uniform.

He realizes that he was so unaffected until now because since he knew nothing, he could not be disappointed. But now, he feels frustration tingling him infuriatingly in the stomach and he also wants to cry, because he knows he should know who they are.

These three must be people dear to him. Otherwise they wouldn't look this distressed, and he wouldn't be suddenly wishing to go back to sleep and pretend this was a dream. Still, the side of him that wasn't sad over this felt somewhat relieved at the sight of them.

"I'm confused," he announces, and when he does, they all seem to let go sighs it looked like they were holding for a long time. Haruka blinks curiously, since the answer takes too long to come by. One of the girls sits down on the chair next to his bed, and she smiles at him,

"We know, sweetie, but we promise everything will turn out perfectly," she brings one of her hands to his own, taking it fondly. He liked the way that felt; she was warm, and it made him notice just how cold he was himself. Her brown eyes look down to the floor though, as she happens to still be upset in spite of her own words.

Haruka also tries staring at her, but it really is pointless. He doesn't know who she is. All he recognized from her looks was that red scarf around her neck, but that was all. And it wasn't even like he knew what that meant, he just knows it means something.

Then, he looks up at the boy standing next to her, but there was nothing, either. Just the same glint of that he only knows he should know. And then he looks at the other girl, and whilst it still does nothing, he's taken back by her.

He tries to prevent himself from blinking. Again, it's true that he doesn't remember by looking at her, but the feeling's just stronger. He feels like his myriad of confused feelings have a pause, like they don't matter as long as he knows she's here, but at the same time, there's something killing him inside, because she's been important to him.

He knows it, he's sure. He knows she's important because of the way his heart feels when he looks at her, and because of the inevitable smile that takes place on his face in spite of his frustration. And then he feels like he's remembering something.

_Something about wanting to see someone again._

"Come here," he says, and the girl obliged without question, not without doubting whether he was talking to her or not. She seems uneasy, though, and Haruka feels her tremble a bit once she's close enough and he reaches over to run a hand through one of her twintails. He feels like he's always wanted to do that.

_It's not the "finally" kind of feeling. I don't know who she is, after all._

"So the doctor was right," the girl says, and she carries such a dejected tone with her. She still refuses to look away from him, and that made him happy. He likes her attention, he realizes. "You don't remember anything, then."

_But I do, somehow._

"I suppose I don't," he mumbles back, as if to himself, his thick staring finally softening a bit, "You're very pretty, though..."

_Finally, she's right in front of me._

_Finally, I got to see her again._

When her face turns a little pink, he finds himself disappointed after she doesn't scream at him. He was _so sure_  he would have remembered something if she reacted that way. He was wrong, apparently. At least he gets to see that endearing blush.

_At least that sounds like the right thing to think._

She just looks sad though, not embarrassed as he would have somehow expected. After his comment, she brings herself to look away. At that, Haruka frowns and impatiently tries to wait until he has her attention again.

But he's distracted after he hears a small laughing, and he turns around to find the brunette covering her mouth a bit while she giggles. Her own face blushes a bit after she realizes she's now the object of his staring, but it's less meaningful than with the other girl. Oh, by the way. Names were probably important?

"Who are you?"

"That's a question that hurts to hear with your voice," the boy's the one answering, and when Haruka looks at him, he's awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Do you know your own name?"

"I do. It's Haruka," he answers, somehow defensive. Of course he knows! It's by far, the only thing he's utterly sure about and he's not letting anyone sound so doubtful over it. Then, he pauses, and turns back to the girl from before. Because he also knows she's the one he trusts the most, even if he's yet to learn her name. "Should I trust the doctor when she said my last name's Kokonose?"

"Uh, yeah," she responds, looking a bit surprised, and he's not sure if it's because of his question or because of his determination to ask her rather than anyone else. Still, just as he was getting seriously annoyed at calling them "the boy", "the girl" and "the other girl," a chirp from his other side rings,

"Okay! Must be frustrating to not know who's here, so I'm Tateyama Ayano! Nice to meet you again, Haruka-san, let's become great friends for a second time!" she takes his hand again, and this time there's a genuine gleeful grin on her, no longer a small smile that tried to cover up her own gloom. Her words made him feel nice, too, and he tightens the hold of their hands to show her he's grateful.

The mood seemed lighter than before, and he was happy for that. Ayano gets up from the chair to shuffle closer to the other boy, as if pushing him to go next. Something he seems to do rather reluctantly,

"Alright, geez! I, um... I'm Kisaragi Shintaro. Nice to meet you, I guess? Even though we, uh, already know each other, I mean..." he sweats when they're all just disappointed at his words, but Haruka smiles through the whole thing anyway because really, it's fine. "Okay, uh, yeah. First names are cool, so don't worry over it, I guess?"

And when he's done, Haruka immediately turns to who's left and tries to dissimulate his own favoritism. She's been glaring at Shintaro as if with mockery, but when she senses the eyes on her, that expression's quickly gone and replaced by more nervousness. Behind him, Ayano's sending her thumbs up, and the girl just sighs.

"Right. I, uh, I'm Enomoto–"

"Takane, isn't it?"

Haruka's sure he did something wrong when they all fell silent and the nice, friendly mood that had finally taken place completely fades away to let in this quite uncomfortable moment. He shouldn't have interrupted a person in the middle of an introduction, geez.

The fact that name suddenly hit his mind didn't mean he had to say it. What was he thinking? That was so rude.

"Y – you remembered my name...?" she slowly asks, though, and fortunately doesn't seem to be upset about him interrupting. He glances at Ayano and Shintaro, and they're smiling (rather because he's apparently remembered something himself), so he guesses he actually didn't mess up.

"That's your name, then?" feeling a bit more confident, he smiles when Takane nods. Of course it's her name; he's sure that if she ended up saying some other name and he was wrong, he'd probably call her that by accident all the time anyway. She was the kind of person who looked like their name. "It's very pretty. It fits you."

Just at the moment it looked like he'd _finally_  get a smile from her, another person suddenly pops her head in the room and they all look at her. He pouts.

"Hey, uh, we're filling some papers about the custody or whatever and– By the way, Hi, Konoha!" it's a blonde girl with a side ponytail. He doesn't feel anything when he sees her, so he assumes he hasn't known her before. For a second Haruka thinks she entered the wrong room, but she's looking at him, unmistakingly. If she was wrong, she would have already noticed. Probably.

"Who now?" he just asks, a bit bothered at the way she called him. He forgets about it when Takane grabs his hand as if to assure him that didn't matter.

"So uh, Ene-chan, can you assist us real quick? You must know his birthday and stuff like that," she says, now looking at Takane. Just what did this girl call her? Were those nicknames or something? Haruka feels like he doesn't like them. "He's being discharged tonight and there's a ton of paperwork out here!"

"Shintaro-kun and I will help," Ayano answers instead, before Takane could even say anything. She looks at her, grinning, "I think Takane-san and Haruka-san should have a moment for themselves, after all."

"Wa – wait, I didn't get to answer!" Takane immediately objects, which made him a bit sad. He actually liked the idea, because that meant Takane'd have no option but to speak to him and pay him attention, and perhaps he'll actually get her to show him her smile. Shintaro and Ayano don't listen to her though, starting to walk away.

"It'll be fine! We'll just call you if we don't know something. Or we'll try asking Haruka-san, in case he remotely remembers," is all Ayano says before closing the door behind her. Haruka hears Takane sigh in annoyment, so he tries talking next,

"You really don't have to stay if you don't want to be here with me," he starts, and Takane takes a moment before looking from the door to him again. Even if he was so thrilled to have her look at him again, now he felt a bit overwhelmed. "I know how awful this place is, so..."

Or maybe she didn't want to stay because of _him_  in particular? He doesn't remember, so she might as well be a person who doesn't like him. Well, she wouldn't look as sad that way, but maybe they didn't get along well, or...

Making a flat noise, Takane lets herself fall on the chair Ayano was on before, crossing her legs once she's sitting. She seems to have relaxed a bit; that's good. "It's fine, don't worry about it. I never asked you how you're feeling, though..."

At that, he has to stop his own tongue from answering that he was okay. Since that wasn't true at all.

His head was killing him and everytime he tried to move it required more effort than he'd like to admit, also leaving an aching pain on his limbs even when he's still. Just for how long has he been asleep?

That's without counting how he felt emotionally; so many things that he didn't know what was true or not and so many things he knows he should know and doesn't. A lot of confusion that participated in his headache.

But as soon as she asked how he was feeling, saying "I'm okay," almost felt like a reflex. As if it was rehearsed or something such. He doesn't answer that, though, since he was aware enough to stop himself. It takes a few minutes, but he pulls up an actual answer,

"Bad," he sees the way Takane tries not to wince and instead she grabs his hand like before, so he's pleased. "Should I trust the doctor when she tells me I'll be fine?"

"You should probably trust all she says," there it is, she finally smiles. It seems it's just to humor him, but it's a smile nonetheless. He loves it, he decides. "You'll be okay and that's what matters now, alright?"

Even if it's just a smile offered out of pity, and if she's just grabbing his hand to make him feel better, the fondness she's looking at him with it's not a trick his own mind was playing on him. It wasn't a mistake, he was sure, even without knowing anything at all about nothing at all; the girl sitting next to him genuinely cared about him, and he's also somehow sure he feels the same way about her. He just wishes he'd remember why.

"...How long have we known each other?" he feels excited when he realizes that perhaps now it's his turn to make questions. Because he had a lot of those and he's sure that the people not dealing with amnesia can actually answer them. Takane also seems to be willing to give him those answers.

"Since highschool," that answer, however, didn't help much. It only made him wonder just how old was he, although Takane seems to have understood whatever expression he made. "So, we basically met like, uh, five years ago?"

"Oh! We've known each other all that time, then?" he claps his hands together, and it hurts to have moved them, but he couldn't stop himself. Maybe that was an habit of his? "That's so nice."

_I can't remember them, anyway._

He tries ignoring his own thoughts, ready to ask something else, but Takane adds, "We spent two of those years apart though, so..."

This statement made him worry a little. He immediately started to imagine possible things that could have caused that, such as any fight between them or having moved away or _something_  that made sense but again, she's faster than any of his questions, and _again_ , Haruka felt like the explanation was far from having any daily, normal sense, anyway.

"I'll tell you everything that happened. Even about your memory, but... but before that," she's being direct, and just now he's realizing he hasn't even stopped to ask himself about this memory loss. Knowing that he didn't need to start making his own guesses at what could've happened wouldn't stop him from doing it, so Haruka just tries ignoring that as he watches Takane nervously pick her next words. She's blushing again, so he gladly ignores his own lack of patience, "Err– It'll be really weird to you if I ask this because you don't... you don't remember me... but... um..."

"It'll be fine," he assures, but she just looks away in embarrassment. He decides to make her sure he means it, "After all, one of the only things I know is that I like you. So don't worry so much!"

"...You haven't changed one bit," she mutters, letting out a small laugh, although it's more like she's talking to herself. Sighing, Takane tries again, despite she doesn't look any better in what regards her awkwardness. Haruka couldn't care less, though. "It's just... it's been a lot of time since we... last saw each other and... I want to– Can I... uh... can I _hug_  you...?"

"Oh," he believes he's trying to dissimulate the smile his lips instinctively draw at her request. He feels something tingling just slightly his stomach. Was he blushing? Because it feels like that, and it also feels like Takane in particular is known in his own head to be usually to blame about it.

He slowly nods, wondering if she actually considered it'd be possible for him to decline, which just makes him wonder further just what kind of person has he always been. Whatever the answer is, Haruka guesses he'll have to build that person back himself, and, hopefully, she's going to help.

She takes a second, but does stand up from her chair, the smile she was carrying long gone and replaced with the kind of face people make when they're pushing back tears that'll eventually win against their will. Her arms are around him and her soft black hair's against his neck after she leans down over where he was sitting on his bed, and all he could do was hug back, try to ignore his own dejection at the sound of her suppressed sobs and enjoy how small she felt in his arms. And also how right, because it feels unaccountably right.

(Somehow, he knows that he wouldn't know why that was even if he had his memories.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update, yay!
> 
> Writing with the whole dan's so hard... But I don't care. This fic's gonna be long, they have quite a lot to do. Maybe even around 20 chapters or so, that's how long I'm talking about! But it's all happiness and they all take care of stuff. Also my bag of headcanons might have broken on this fic.
> 
> I'm actually writing about harutaka getting together in like chap 4 or 5 haha!!! So yeah, lots and lots of headcanons over here.

He's not really paying attention to everyone. They've been discussing rooms for what it seems like hours– oh, right! Because it turns out he has way more friends than he thought, it wasn't just Takane, Ayano and Shintaro. He wonders a lot how he got all of them, since Takane hasn't explained everything to him like she's promised, but he trusts she will.

"So if that's the case, then Ene should just room with big sis," Kido, or the "leader" as most of them were apparently used to call her, kept writing down names and making little squares in representations of the rooms as if to be more organized. "Although I... was looking forward to share with big sis again."

"Aw, Tsubomi, if you feel that way then why don't we three share?" Ayano appears by Kido's side, pointing to a part of the piece of paper she was writing on. Again, Haruka's not paying attention, so he doesn't know what she's exactly pointing at.

There are four rooms and nine people. So far, they haven't made any progress on deciding.

"Well, that would work, but..." Kido taps the pencil on her lips, thoughtful. "We'd need two people in three rooms, and three people in one room. I thought the three people sharing should be Kano, Seto and Konoha."

"Alright! Guy night every night!" Kano suddenly wraps an arm around him, and also around Seto, who was conveniently sitting next to him. Haruka notices he doesn't really like people he doesn't really know touching him much, but it's not something he can't deal with. "We'll party like _men_!"

"Wait, where does that leave me?" Hibiya quickly emerges from the kitchen, holding the glass of juice he's been whining for the entire way to the hideout. "I'd have to room with one of the girls!"

"Well, with Hiyori, right?" Kido answers as if it was already obvious. "You two are close friends, right?"

"That's the grossest thing I've ever heard!" Hiyori quickly shoves into the conversation, despite she seemed to be pretty distracted with the tv. "Can't I room with Momo-chan?"

"Aw, sorry, Hiyori-chan! I already have my own room back at home!" Momo rubs the back of her neck in what Haruka believes to be nervousness, but most of the stuff he's assumed until now's been wrong, so he just keeps doing what he's been doing until now and keeps quiet.

"Fine, fine. Then, if Hibiya and Hiyori don't room, hm–" sighing, Kido scribbles down again. Haruka sees she actually crossed something out. "...Uh, you wanna say something, Mary?"

Mary's been shyly raising her hand as if she wanted to answer a question in class, glancing at Seto before speaking up in a voice much softer than the usual. "Yes! I was just, um, wondering! If... if I could share a room with Seto?"

There's a bit of a pause from Kido's part as she thinks it over, which Kano takes care of filling. "Mary'd leave her room to go over with Seto anyway, so maybe it makes more sense!"

"Actually, it does," Kido cracks a small smile, starting to write with much more enthusiasm than before. "That way, one room goes for Mary and Seto, another for Kano, Konoha and Hibiya. It leads us back to Ene sharing with big sis."

He glances at Takane, who just like himself, has been awfully quiet. Maybe she also feels she doesn't really have the right to be deciding over this stuff, because that's what he feels. These people are letting him stay with them, and not only that, but they're willing to deal with his whole memory loss deal and to answer all his questions. No, he won't butt in. He'll just nod at whatever room he's assigned with. He might be a bit worried about Kano and Hibiya though.

Kido's warned him about Kano liking pranks and that he probably won't go easy on him only because he's really confused, and if anything, those things made him a better "target." Haruka doesn't like being called a target.

Meanwhile, he hasn't spoken to Hibiya even once. The boy has very reluctantly introduced himself and has made it very clear he doesn't enjoy him around. Haruka feels sad at the thought, but he guesses that not everyone should like him and that's okay. He _is_  a bit curious about having done something to him in the past he can't remember; he guesses he'll eventually figure it out... or he'll just ask Takane.  
  
Right, back at Takane. He's staring at her. She's trying to keep her gaze on the floor, oh no, she's so aware of him staring. Haruka makes sure to look away, and he notices he feels quite embarrassed. He... doesn't like that, no. He'll try to be more careful, next time for real.

"That way you and I would have to room!" Hiyori yells out again, this time jumping off her spot to approach the coffee table, where Kido had her annotations. "I don't wanna room with a stranger!"

"Trust me when I say nothing weird will come out of it," Haruka distinguishes a slight annoyment in Kido's voice when she answers.

"But all three of us are strangers to you," Ayano gestures to herself and Takane too, since Hiyori didn't have much options left with whom to share.

"Not you, Ayano-chan! You're my adorable niece!"

"Oh! So you're willing to share with me?"

"Sure! If it's not Momo-chan, then Ayano-chan's my next option," Hiyori shrugs as if it wasn't such a big deal despite having complained so much already. However, she's suddenly next to Haruka and adding, "Ah, well, Konoha'd be a much better option, too! Of course!"

"Huh, me?" half of his question goes to actually wondering if he's Konoha, and because he reminds himself that he _is_ , the other half goes to wondering if that meant Hiyori liked him. That little girl seemed to be pretty picky with who she treats decently, so those were nice news.

Haruka also sees the way Kano walks over to Takane to tell her, "Watch out, someone's out to steal your man."

It makes pretty much everyone snicker, but Haruka can't bring himself to get it. Takane rolls her eyes.

"NO WAY! Don't let them room, Kido!"

"I wasn't going to do that, Hibiya, so don't worry," Kido lets out a soft giggle along her words, and Haruka thinks smiles suit her. She quickly returns to her serious expression though, "So it's settled? Unless you mind sharing with me?"

She turned to look at Takane, who didn't seem to be paying attention. She looks around as if to confirm they were now speaking to her, and Haruka giggles at the way she suddenly tries to pretend she was listening, "Uh, not at all! It's fine by me!"

Everyone was about to sigh in relief about this dense subject being finally over, but Ayano raises her hand like Mary did before.

"Actually, can I make a suggestion?"

"A suggestion?" Kido inquires, with a certain look of exhaustion on her face. It's highly probable that if it wasn't her big sister asking, she'd say no. "Sure, go ahead."

"Isn't it weird to make Haruka-san share with people he doesn't know?"

"It's fine, I don't mind at all!" he rushes to say, because again, that's true. Plus, sharing with them will help him get to know them, right? Even if one of them doesn't like him and the other one concerns him.

"C'mon, sis! I'll take care of him!" oh no, Kano's back to touching him. He's ruffling his hair now. Haruka guesses he'll have to get used to this.

"I know you will! But I just thought that maybe we could let him room with Takane-san?"

" _Excuse_  me!?" Takane quickly jumps to her own defense, if there was something even worth defending. It makes Haruka feel something like rejection, but oh well. Just like he's thought before, whatever room he's in it'll be fine. Even if sharing with Takane is a much nicer idea and now he's kind of wishing for it.

Ah, why did Ayano had to talk? Now he's looking forward to it. And one of the things he knows about himself is that looking forward to things is bad.

"Well, yeah! That way you guys get even more time together!" Ayano refutes, clapping her hands together. "You have quite a lot of catch-up to do, don't you?"

"That doesn't–"

"Whaaat? Sis, you wanna make a hormonal couple share a room?" Kano makes sure to interrupt Takane before she could complain again, so she proceeds with attempting to destroy him with a glare. Kano doesn't even look back at her, "We're already a lot of people, do we really need babies around?"

"You aren't funny, you know that?" Takane hisses, getting up from her spot on the couch's arm. "And we aren't a couple!"

"Don't even joke about it. Those two have always been so slow it was embarrassing to see," Haruka jumps at the sound of Shintaro's voice, since he forgot he was here in the first place. Well, apparently he's been hiding in the kitchen, because he comes out of there with his phone in hand and a can of coke. "I mean, didn't you know they spent two whole years alone together in a classroom? And not even a confession. Ever."

"I'm sorry, Shintaro-kun, that's something I can't believe," Kano quickly turns to Takane while he tries to hold back a snicker, "The other one's amnesic so you'll have to do the talking. Tell us the truth, naughty girl."

"You're actually asking me to break your nose," Takane simply says, and her glacial answer seemed far from just babbling, so Kano makes sure to step away.

"I've always said they're like a shoujo couple that went incredibly wrong," Shintaro insists, and it makes Kano burst into laughter. Haruka sees the way Ayano seems happy with their interaction, and it makes him smile, even if it was a quite awkward subject already.

"Alright, Shintaro-kun! How much they're together by next month?"

"We're right here, you know!?" this time Takane sounded more than just pissed, enough to make them shut up. Thinking it was weird that Kido hasn't taken measures herself, Haruka steals a glance at her, but she's in her own world writing stuff down.

The result of Takane's scream is Kano's laughing but at the very least, he seemed to finally have had enough. But he's approaching him and Haruka's wishing he'll just walk past him, but no, of course, Kano's now wrapping an arm around him again.

"On the other hand, I can't believe I finally have something to fight the almighty Ene-chan!" talking in between snickers, he ruffles his hair again. "Konoha, you're like, personified teasing material!"

Then there's a pause, because he doesn't say anything, and apparently Kano was expecting an answer. And since he couldn't dissimulate his own awkwardness, Kano's quick to jump away.

"Ohhh, sorry, Konoha! You like your personal space? Didn't mean to!"

"Since when do you care about _not_  making people uncomfortable?" Hibiya asks, and Seto chuckles at his question. Kano turns to him,

"Since I realized he's already easy enough to tease with words," he explains it as if it was the most logical thing in the world. "I just decided! Kido, take note of this moment! I will be the one turning Konoha's blank face into _anger_!"

Haruka hears Takane laugh along with everyone, and he doesn't even care that sharing a room with Kano after having him say that sounds like an awfully bad idea, because her laugh is making him feel strucked. In a good way. What even is to think? She's so incredibly pretty.

He shakes his head. Don't get distracted! Say what you actually wanted to!

Clearing his throat, Haruka notices he's not good with people, but tries his best to speak up in front of everyone. "I – I actually just wanted to ask if– if you could call me "Haruka" instead of "Konoha.""

It makes him anxious when everyone just stay silent, but fortunately it doesn't take long until somebody speaks up. It's Hiyori.

"That applies to everyone...?" she sounds so disappointed, but he has to nod. It's his name, one of the only things he knows about himself. He's aware people tend to have the same name as others, but somehow, the name "Konoha" sounded so much like it belonged to someone else other than him, and that he shouldn't take it.

"Yes, a – and I hope it's not a burden to get used to, but..."

"Don't you worry over it!" Seto loudly assures him, showing him thumbs up. He shoots a smile at Mary when he adds, "We'll get used to it in no time, right, Mary?"

"Yes! Your name has a nice ring to it! I like it!"

"Yeah! Whatever name you carry will be as cute as you are, anyway!" Hiyori's back at it, but Haruka manages to offer her a smile.

"Thanks...?" he isn't sure if that was a "compliment" but it felt like that was the right thing to answer. He didn't mean it to sound so questioningly, but there's not much to do about it.

"Alright, I actually think it works better like this!" Kido suddenly speaks up, holding up the paper she's been writing on.

Everyone turn to her curiously, because she was talking about something completely unrelated. Oh, the rooms. Geez, that subject's became so annoying already.

"You finished diciding the rooms, Tsubomi?" Ayano tries to peek at the paper, but Kido puts it back down.

"Yes. Assuming Ene and Ko– I mean, Haruka, share, it's much better," at least it seems like she had an ear for the conversation too. Otherwise she wouldn't have heard him asking to be called by his real name. "Ene with Haruka, Mary with Seto, me with big sis and Hiyori–"

"That would leave me with _this guy_!"

"Wow. Rude."

"Well, yeah, it does. But no soul deserves to room with him and you're only here for another two weeks before going back home..." Kido softens her voice, compassionate for Hibiya. Poor Kano, but she had a point. "I'm sorry for it but if he remotely doesn't let you sleep or makes some kind of prank, I'll make sure he sleeps on the streets, alright?"

Humming, Hibiya crosses his arms and actually considers it. On the other hand, Kano rubs his arms for emphasis to his words, "So cold, Tsubomi-chan..."

"I don't remember having agreed to it," Takane sounds way colder though.

"I guess you didn't," clearing her throat, Kido looks slightly uneasy. Haruka remembers she said she wanted to share rooms with Ayano, so that might be the reason she thinks this way the whole rooming thing is better. Oh, she's looking at him now. "...What do you think, Haruka?"

"I'm fine with it," he swallows back saying that he'd love to, for some reason.

"Come on, Ene-chan! I didn't mean the babies thing!" Kano just doesn't know when to stop talking. "If that's what you're worried about, you just hafta use protection– ouch, ouch, ouch! Leader, so mean!"

"Your room's already settled, so why don't you leave?" Kido lets go of his ear almost pushing him back, but he only whines another complaint. Nonetheless, he finally shuts up. After that, Kido sticks her hopeful eyes on Takane, "It's fine if you say no."

Surprisingly, it takes only that for her to answer, "Fine, whatever. But only because you want to share with Ayano-chan!"

"Yes and thank you," she sounds calm, but her face shows entire excitement, Haruka feels good for her.

Also good for himself. He smiles at Takane, but she looks away. She's so pretty.

* * *

 

Haruka knew he was right to think this sketchbook was his; it was confirmed by his "friends" afterwards. His sketches still felt sloppy, but he likes thinking he'll eventually get the hold of it.

It's been less than a day since he was discharged from the hospital, and he feels calm. Confused, frustrated, exhausted, but calm. As if everything would be okay from now on, and he likes the feeling.

He discovers he likes yellow and the wind. Several yays for that. And also that he's right handed.

Everyone's busy with their own thing, mostly getting rooms ready and moving stuff from one place to another, which Haruka thinks of as trying to make the apartment appropiate for so many people living in it. So he tries to stay out of it, because a confused person on a wheelchair can't really do much.

He likes feeling fresh air on his face and his head feels funny when the wind moves his hair, so Ayano's very gladly pushed his wheelchair for him to the balcony. He hears everyone's muffled voices inside, Takane's too. He's still hoping she'll tell him what happened, and who they all are, him included.

The glass door slides open and quickly closed as well, communicating him of someone tagging along with him to stare at the sky. It's cloudly today, perhaps it'll rain later in the evening, but Haruka finds himself liking the sky immensely.

Shintaro sits next to him on the floor, and Haruka offers him a smile as a way of a greeting.

"Uh, hey."

"Hello."

When he sees this boy didn't look like he intended a conversation, Haruka takes back his pencil and tries to think of something to draw, but having someone here kind of distracted him. In the end, it seemed that Shintaro was just taking his time until saying something else,

"I know this is a really dumb question," he starts, and he carries a nervous tone in his voice that Haruka can't bring himself to understand. "But... how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," he can't help giggling. What's so dumb about that? "Better, actually. My head doesn't hurt anymore."

"...That's good."

"Yeah. Thanks for asking," he makes sure to thank him because he knows he's supposed to be polite. Tapping his pencil against the paper, he asks, "What about you, Shintaro-kun?"

"Me?" he blinks incredulously, and looks at him in a way Haruka guesses to be confusion. He looks like the actual dumb question was his. "Who cares how I'm doing? You're the one who can't remember anything. You've been through a lot."

"And you haven't?" before he could stop himself, he lets some kind of defensive sound influence his voice. What even is this conversation? Haruka clears his throat, awkwardly mumbling an apology, even if he knows he's right. If there's another thing he knows, is that none of the kids that aparently are "his friends" had good experiences. Trying to gain a bit of confidence, Haruka follows up, "I'm not sure what happened, Shintaro-kun. In fact, I have no idea what happened. But for some reason, I'm pretty sure no one's had quite a pleasent time."

A heavy silence descends on both of them after that, and Haruka can't help feeling anxious again. Ah, he doesn't like this. People make him nervous. This is why he prefers to be around Takane so much; she makes him feel safe.

Shintaro takes his time again, eventually letting out a snicker that makes Haruka jump slightly on his chair. "You're right."

Yay for that, he was right!

"So, how are you?" Haruka asks again, but Shintaro's apparent good mood disappears at the question, and he looks away. Dejected, he tries again, "Really, are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just... so hard to see you like this, even after everything."

"What?"

"We... were rather close, you know?" still avoiding to look at him, Shintaro places the can with his drink on the floor. Haruka wonders if that's the same one he was drinking hours earlier or if he just unhealthily likes it. "And that says something, because I was an asshole back then. One even bigger than I am now."

He wants to tell him he shouldn't be that hard on himself, but he feels like it won't make a difference whether he says it or not. So, instead, Haruka makes sure to say something that's utterly true, at least to him, "Well, we can become close friends again! I'd like to."

"Yeah, I'd like that too," finally getting a genuine smile from him, Haruka smiles back. Unfortunately, Shintaro seems to do the same thing he noticed on Kido before, and immediately heads back to a serious expression. "But it's too complicated. Maybe it's soon to tell you this stuff, but I wanted to apologize about that promise I made you."

"...What promise?"

"Right– your memory, uh," he grimaces at the mention of it. "One I made to you back then. I told you I'd take care of her for you. You know who."

Shintaro rolls his eyes. He suddenly looks somewhat angry, as if he didn't even want to say the name, as if was a waste of time to mention "her." Haruka can only frown slightly, because even if he didn't name her, he somehow knows who they're talking about.

"You mean Takane?"

"Yeah, her," there it is again, the reluctancy to talk about her. It sort of bothered Haruka a little, but just like he's thought before, not everyone can like you, and perhaps, Takane and Shintaro weren't friends. "You asked me to take care of her because you couldn't, that was the promise."

It's like Shintaro's voice's echoing Haruka's own in the back of his mind. It hurts, the confusion hurts.

"Shintaro-kun, I don't know what you're saying."

"You asked me that because you knew you were– ugh, you know what? It was a bad idea to come here," he scratches his head, taking back his drink and intending to get up. "It's a lot of information for a person who can barely deal with knowing his own name. It's too early to tell you all of this."

"Wa – wait!" Haruka manages to raise his voice before Shintaro can open the door again. Fortunately, he stops to listen to him. ...Actually, he doesn't know what to say next. "Please, tell me."

"I'd have to tell you the whole story, it's too complicated!"

"Well, at some point I'd have to listen to that story," he tries not to stutter, and swallows back all of his apologies. He just doesn't want to deal with all this curiosity anymore, with the doubts of who he is. "I – I think I have the right to know who I am, and the things I've done."

That seems to be enough to make him change his mind. At least, that's what he hopes while he watches the way Shintaro hesitantly glances at everyone through the glass door. Haruka silently beams at himself when the boy comes back to his former spot on the floor, muttering in a rather scratchy voice, "Fine."

It's true Takane said she'd explain it. But she's taking long enough, and perhaps he'll just hear her version later, but right know he needs to know. At least, one hint of what's going on. Shintaro starts off with his own version by saying they met three years ago, and Haruka closes his sketchbook on his lap.

"Right, so... Ayano invited me to a school festival."

At first, it sounds like a happy highschool story.

"You became my best friend. I never had a best friend before."

Then, everything goes wrong.

Just as it was expected, it eventually starts raining, but they don't go inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long since I last updated, I'm aware, yes, I'm sorry, I suck.
> 
> I had a really ugly writing block. I literally can't write since February, and I have no idea why. I started this chapter like three months ago, to be honest... Or. Um, when was the last time I updated? (I just checked. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DON'T UPDATE SINCE NOVEMBER.)
> 
> sO, UM. Yeah!!! Thanks to this being pretty much the first thing I forced myself to write, it's super, super messy, so bear with me, please! I haven't edited it (no surprise there) but I will (probably, coughs) when I have the time, later. A lot of things in this chapter are things that actually happened to me (bad and good things, haha) so that made it easier to write.
> 
> I'm sorry this isn't shippy but firstly, it's Haruka-centric and not exactly harutaka-centric. Secondly, this chapter is just not shippy in general.
> 
> So yeah, that's about it! Aaaalso... Warning for sensitive subjects like panic attacks and... and stuff. They have issues okay.

Takane, Shintaro and Ayano had told him that in the past, he wasn't one to use the word "hate." That it was weird for him to communicate any sort of negative feeling out loud, but now, everytime he has an appointment at the hospital he, unconsciously, doesn't make it that difficult to notice the fact he does not want to be here.

He feels slightly annoyed when, before he could help it, the doctor grabs his wheelchair's handles. Haruka can move it himself, thank you very much. At least she could have warned him.

That way, he's pushed outside by the smiling doctor, and he quickly spots Ayano in the waiting room; his face instantly lights up when he sees her.

"Your girlfriend?"

"No."

The doctor falls dead silent at his cold answer, despite he hadn't tried to sound so. Gosh, how immature of him. Why is he like this whenever coming to see any doctors is the matter on the table? It's just dumb.

He also finds it weird himself, even without his memories, that he acts so coldly towards these people. They aren't at fault, they're just doing their job. Job which happens to be saving people. That's why he's being immature.

Haruka's brought back from his own thoughts when Ayano says goodbye and thanks the doctor. Oh, were they having a conversation? He... didn't hear.

"Heard that? Good news, yay!" Ayano's words barely accomplishes their purpose as a whisper behind her huge smile. "I hope everything goes well...!"

"What?" he just asks, since he's not embarrassed to admit he was distracted. She has started to push his wheelchair through the hospital's halls, ready to head home. "I wasn't listening, I'm sorry."

"Oh! Well, a few things. The doctor said you don't need to come back until next month for a check up."

"For real?"

"Yep," Ayano's good mood definitely started to rub off on him, so Haruka smiles. "And... that she realized you don't like coming here."

He stays silent at the mention of it. The hospital itself is what makes him uneasy the most, though. It's like he can't be quite himself if he's in here, for some reason. He wonders why he has such a strong rejection to this place.

"So she said it'd be best for you to start seeing a therapist," she went on, and Haruka feels confused again. A what. "We don't need to pay it so yays for that! She gave me a number for it so..."

"What's a therapist, though?"

"Oh, well, a therapist is a doctor," before he could mentally huff in childish annoyment, Ayano adds, "But you talk to them about what's going on in your life and they help you with your problems."

Well, that didn't sound all that bad. It didn't thrill him, but at least the things Ayano used to describe it didn't imply needles or taking more pills.

"Plus, my dad used to have a saying," when she says this, Haruka pays attention. According to Ayano herself, her father used to be his and Takane's teacher when they were at school. Takane said that even though she wouldn't admit it back then, this person was pretty much a friend of theirs. Alas, he didn't make it through everything. "He always said: if it's free, take it!"

That's... not really what he was expecting. But it somehow felt like something her father would say, despite he doesn't even remember his name. Maybe he'll try asking about him later; Ayano's following silence, for some reason, felt odd.

"Ayano-chan?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yes! Why?" of course that, in their position, Haruka was unable to see Ayano's face. She still sounded like she stopped smiling. Clearing her throat, she adds, "Ah, what an odd thing to ask, haha..."

Before he could insist, maybe by saying that she can trust him or that she can talk to him whenever she needs to, she rushes to change the subject.

"A – also!" Ayano exclaims, and he winces. She basically just screamed on his ear. Did she got nervous? He only asked if she felt fine, though. "She thinks the condition you're in isn't critical at all, so if you start seeing a physiotherapist, everything'd work out fairly quickly!"

"What's a physiotherapist, exactly?" this time, he felt a bit embarrassed. It is true he's sure Ayano'll understand because of this amnesia, but it didn't change the fact that asking so many questions about what's this and that made him doubt if he was too much of a burden.

"...I don't know. I kinda assumed you'd know and I wouldn't have to ask," any nervousness in her laugh is washed away when he lets out a giggle himself. "So – sounds expensive though. Let's look it up!"

Ayano pauses just before they'd make it out of the hospital, but Haruka keeps the frown to himself. They're leaving already, anyway, so he supposes it'll be fine to wait a couple of minutes. He takes a glance at her as she holds on her phone, and decides to be patient. It isn't like he understands anything about phones anyway, so he lets her do her thing.

"Person who helps people with any physical difficulties they may have because of an injury, illness or something such," Ayano eventually says, and when he looks at her, Haruka feels confused. He didn't really understand, but she looked euphoric about it. "That means we could kiss the wheelchair bye-bye!?"

"...Wait, what?"

They spend their walk home discussing it, because Ayano insisted he didn't need to worry about the comment she made earlier about this being expensive, whilst Haruka refuted that they didn't need to go through affording this for him because he's fine.

And he really is, because he doesn't remember what it is to walk, so it's not like he misses doing it. He has the amount of necessary strength, after all! He can change into another seat by himself, and thankfully, he doesn't need help in the bathroom or anything like that either (despite Takane keeps insisting he _should_  bring help, just in case.)

When he tells her this, Ayano keeps insisting, to the point it feels pushy. As if it personally bothered her that he was on this state, and Haruka remembers Shintaro saying it was hard seeing him this way. When they get in the elevator, he remembers Takane cursing at the wheels because she couldn't move it quite right.

Thinking of her, Haruka holds up a finger to make Ayano stop just as they get off, and she's fumbling in her purse for the apartment's keys, "Ayano-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Can we not tell Takane that there's a possibility I could walk again?"

His request definitely gets her off guard, and Ayano stops everything she's doing to look at him. Haruka supposes she might be searching for any kind of hint of a joke on his face, but since she doesn't find one, she just sighs,

"I was looking forward on telling her. She's been down about this subject for a while," she says, affirming his fear. He looks down, to his unmoving feet, and before he could take his words back or say anything in the first place, she continues, "But I suppose I understand, she could get a bit... pushy, about it. I don't want her to overexert herself, she needs mind-rest."

"Yes," he nods in agreement, "Also, we might not want to bring her hopes up if nothing happens in the end."

Ayano lets out a weak giggle as she turns the keys in the door, "Who would have thought Haruka-san's so pesimist."

As soon as they go in, Ayano's worries change priority when she hears people arguing. Haruka's able to recognize who are the owners of the voices; if he wasn't wrong, the ones discussing were Kano and Seto, which was weird and only made him hope he was wrong.

Ayano rushes him to finish taking his shoes off and pushes him up in the slide board Kido improvised in the step of the entrance for his wheelchair. She's quite violent doing it, too, so he fears for his life by how fast Ayano was pushing him towards the living room, where his theory was confirmed.

Kano and Seto were sitting in the couch with Mary, Seto holding the TV remote and Kano was trying to take it away from him, and as soon as they spot the living angel that is their big sister stepping in the room, Kano immediately calls for help,

"Sis! Help us settle this!"

"What's going on?"

"Shuuya wants to watch a really violent movie."

"And Seto and Mary want to watch a disney one! With frogs falling in love!"

Ayano sighs, possibly calming down, since it was a much less serious problem than expected, "Well... Shuuya, it's two against one."

Just as Kano was about to open his mouth and complain again, Kido pops out of the kitchen,

"Well, I'll have to cheer on Kano for this one. It's true they've watched that movie a million times already and we have to put up with watching their cartoons over, and over, and over again."

"Yeah! Thanks, Kido, let me thank you with a hug!"

Haruka thought it was impressive the way Kido doesn't make any signs of ever hearing Kano, and coldly turns around to look at him instead. He feels a bit sorry for the other boy, and he'd actually ask him if he's okay if Kido wasn't offering the smallest of smiles to him. Ah, she's cute. Even if it seems that it's hot in the kitchen since she looks tired and sweaty, Kido's pretty, so Haruka smiles back.

Yep, Kido's of those people who, no matter what, they always look cute. Like Takane!

"I'm making barbecue," she announces, and he doesn't know why she's telling him this, really. Fortunately, she explains it to him without having him ask, "Konoha used to cling to me all day, everyday, asking me to make it. I remembered that and Ene confirmed to me that you also liked it, but it's possible you don't remember it so–"

"Whaaat, look at our leader getting all generous and wordy with Haru!" Kano laughs, and this time, Kido shoots him a deathglare. Also, is "Haru" supposed to be him? He doesn't really like Kano's nicknames. "Is it that somebody has a crush? Is it the white hair? Maybe I should dye it in his sleep."

"I don't understand how many senseless sentences fit into your mouth," Kido mutters, and offers him and her sister another smile. Making her way back into the kitchen, she whispers to herself that sometimes she feels sorry for Kano's brain, "if he even has one."

When the kitchen's door closes, Haruka turns to Kano, "Please don't dye my hair in my sleep."

"The plan's already in motion thanks to your bleached head, buddy."

It is official now that Haruka doesn't understand half of the things Kano says, but somehow manages to understand when people get mad at him for saying them. He knows it's mean to think this, but he's glad he didn't have to room with him in the end.

Conveniently, the kitchen's door opens again, and Takane appears holding just too many things for such a tiny person. Haruka's first instinct is to get up and try helping her, but surprise surprise, his legs don't respond much aside from a small shudder. Okay, the wheelchair might be a little annoying.

She offers him a smile but walks past him, as Ayano's the one who rushes to help her so they can start setting up the table. He's a bit disappointed they can't chat, so he entertains himself with counting the dishes she brought, to affirm to himself that Shintaro and Momo were coming for lunch.

"You're right, Mary!" Seto suddenly yells out, and pretty much everyone in the room jump in their seats. Mary silently sits beside him; she pretty much whispers the things she wants to say to Seto if Haruka's around. "Sis and Haruka-san could just join us, and we'll decide the movie with them. What about that, Shuuya?"

"What? No way, sis is gonna pick the frogs one and I know enough about Haruka to guess he's gonna do the same thing," Kano objects, even though Haruka's never watched either of the movies. Or any movies, really (well, he _might_  have watched movies in the past, but, coughs, memory loss.) "Let's make Ene sit down with us! She's totally gonna support me."

"In that case we're us four against you two!"

"Three! Kido's with me!"

"She doesn't count. She just came here to make a point."

"Well, my vote's equivalent to a million."

"In that case, everyone's votes should be equivalent to a million, and if that's so, it'd be four millions against two millions... Plus, Ene-chan's not even here. So, it's one million."

"Three millions, dumbass!"

"Shush it! We're not watching either of the movies!" Ayano abandons her activity of setting the table and rushes to the boys, whom practically shiver at the sight of her hands in her waist. "Shuuya, you apologize to Kousuke right now for calling him that."

He hesitates, but looking down, and suddenly lacking any hint of his actual personality, Kano turns to Seto and mutters, "I'm sorry."

"Your brother can't hear you if you mumble!"

"I'm sorry, okay? You aren't a dumbass."

"Good. Now you behave as friends and pick a movie everyone will be happy to watch!"

"Calm down, mom."

Quick to recognize the last comment as Shintaro's, Ayano's frown is turn upside down in just a matter of seconds as she rushes to greet him. He doesn't do a lot aside from leaving the drinks he brought in the table and saying hi to Ayano. Haruka smiles when he waves at him, and when Takane just happens to look at him, Shintaro looks away in a way that could as well be the equivalent of saying "I'm ignoring you."

Takane frowns. Ayano does, too.

Momo appears in the room not long after, holding her tablet in the air as she says, "Say hi to everyone, Hibiya-kun!"

There's just a grumpy "hi" coming from the pixelated image of the wincing boy after everyone waves and yells hello, "I'm wearing headphones, idiots! Don't be loud!"

When Hibiya answers that, the next logical thing to do according to Momo (and also Kano) is scream louder and closer to the device, to which the kid at the other side of the line only threatens to hung up the videochat (also screaming.)

No one really listens to Kido when she comes out of the kitchen to yell at them to shut up.

* * *

 

Holding his hands tightly over his mouth, Haruka dares to look at the person next to him. Half hoping she's asleep, and half hoping she's awake, he immediately looks away from Takane's sleeping figure and tries to recover his breath, but it's hard.

As the ragged breathes he was making weren't exactly quiet, he makes himself keep looking at her in case she woke up as he sits up. He wonders if tears are threatening to come out of his eyes or if he's just sweating, but whatever it is, he never takes his hands away from his mouth. He's afraid that if he lets go, he'll let go a scream, or just lose control over his already accelerated breath. He didn't want to wake Takane up because of another night terror.

The dream itself has already disappeared from his mind, simply leaving behind the gruesome feeling in his head, stomach and closing throat as he desperately fought with himself for air. Even though he, again, didn't want to make Takane wake up to deal with this, he wretchedly wanted her to wake up. To wake up whilst he was feeling like this, like she did a few weeks ago.

But she had looked so distressed, and if Haruka wasn't so busy trying to breathe properly, he'd swear with pure security she was crying. But even if he had to make her go through something as ugly, she did help him calm down and he likes her voice telling him that everything's over and that things can only be okay from now on.

Hot tears sting in his eyes as they roll down his face; he wants Takane to wake up, he wants to hear her and he wants her to hold him tight and tell him there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. He just wants her to get rid of this suffocating feeling.

The first few nigths he wouldn't notice, but it turns out she has her own trouble sleeping as well, which makes the fact they share a room even nicer.

(Sharing a room is just as good as he thought. Ignoring how mad Takane gets every morning at some comments from the others, Haruka's quite happy with it. He hopes she is, too.)

They share their sleepless time with words. It's mostly Takane answering all of his questions, and when he runs out of them, she'd tell him stories of the past. She gives the impression it's a happy memory of hers, implied by the fondness she inevitably carries in her voice as she speaks, but they always just leave a bittersweet feeling inside of him.

But tonight she was asleep. And if she woke up now, she'd start talking to him.

But he doesn't want to be a burden, so he lies back in the futon and tries to sink his tears against his pillow. Just think of nice things, think of Shintaro showing him how to play a game or trying to show him how his phone works, think of Ayano getting embarrassed after thinking no one was around to hear her sing, think of Takane smiling.  
  


* * *

  
  
They're both immediately startled when he opens the kitchen's door.

Because he wasn't expecting anyone to be here, and she surely wasn't expecting anyone coming here. Since that's the reasonable thing to assume when it's almost four in the morning.

Still, Haruka brings himself together fairly quickly; he's already getting used to it. As a person who has trouble sleeping and gets up various amount of times during the night, he's learned to always expect someone to be here. It isn't always the case, but since he's living with like other ten people it was something pretty often.

Alas, tonight wasn't an example of him being used to this. He immediately starts wondering if it's noticeable on his face that he's been crying or something such. Rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, and letting out a bashful giggle, he starts, "Ayano-chan! Fancy meeting you here, ma'am."

"Is it not, good sir?" she plays along, but he's more than just fast to notice the weird tone she was carrying in her voice. She sounded... off. Wearing a smile that lacked her usual bliss, she continues, "It – it must have been destiny, for our paths to meet when we get hungry at night."

"So you're here for a snack too?" he forces up a giggle over his concern as he rolls his way towards her in his wheelchair, and he tries to shake away the thought. It... couldn't be, could it? Ayano's always showed herself as this strong person, so Haruka decides that she probably was just tired; everyone can have trouble sleeping, anyway. "Takane fell asleep earlier tonight, so I find myself spending my sleepless time by myself."

"Huh? You have trouble sleeping like her, Haruka-san?"

"I do. I haven't slept properly ever since coming back from the hospital. What about you?"

"I don't, to be honest," she sighs, tracing her cup of tea's border with one of her fingers. "It's just sometimes."

He mumbles a small "I see," as an answer, and focuses entirely on pouring some tea for himself. After this small talk, Haruka can say that without a doubt, something's up with her.

He doesn't know what kind of relationship he had with her in their highschool days, at least not further from calling each other a friend. He doesn't know how close were they, how much she knew about him and how much he knew about her.

But he does know their relationship now; Ayano's great. She picks him up from his doctor appointments because at that time of the day Takane's at work. She's willing to watch a ton of movies with him, as she stated today, after watching the movie with the frogs falling in love that left Mary and Seto in tears.

"That's weird, though. You used to love sleeping so much!"

When he turns around to look at her after she spoke up, he realizes she looks restless; her voice sounds forced.

Awkwardness isn't a thing around her, but right now he's... feeling awkward. All at once, Ayano looks away and it clicks to him (and most likely, to her too.)

She gets up from her chair changes seats from his wheelchair to a chair, "I should go back to bed now! I mean, what if Tsubomi wakes up and her big sister isn't in the room–"

"Ayano-chan, can I ask you something?" he regrets cutting her off, but he didn't want her to simply leave. At the question, she sits back down, letting in a probably more honest expression; at the sight of it, Haruka knows she shares the awkward feeling. "Whatever you answer, I will believe you! I just want you to be honest because I'm worried."

"Yes, don't you worry," she smiles, but it's unlike her smiles. "I don't really appreciate lying."

"Okay, so... are you okay?"

She doesn't flinch or change her expression; she saw the question coming. All Ayano really do is sigh, managing a small smile for him before answering, "I'm okay. Just a little upset."

"...A little?"

Ayano's not looking away, but turning her head away from him so he couldn't even see her face. Haruka, worried, tries again,

"Ayano-ch–"

As soon as he voices her name, he can hear the way a sob makes its way out of her throat, despite she had tried to keep it inside by covering her mouth with her hands, much like he did earlier in the night.

Of course he immediately starts asking what's wrong, and Ayano (knowing it was pointless to try hiding her face anymore) turns to him with the worst mess of tears he's ever seen on anyone. Again, he's not experienced in pretty much anything, but this was just wrong. The way tears just wouldn't _stop_  coming out, Haruka felt like he was going to simply break down again, too.

But he remembers Takane patting his back and how she made it last less than it did tonight, when he had to calm himself down and it how it was worst than the actual nightmare that caused it. So he takes a deep breath, pushes back the tears already threating their way out, and before he could say anything, he hears the first understandable thing in between Ayano's sobs,

"Did you see _the way_  Shintaro-kun looked at Takane-san today?" it's barely even audible, and it doesn't even sound as her voice in the first place. Haruka hesitantly places a hand on her shoulder, and without a second of warning, Ayano immediately climbs to him for dear life. "Like she just– like she just could _die_  and he wouldn't– and he wouldn't even _care_  ab– about that!"

To be fairly honest, Haruka couldn't understand half of what she was saying. Deciding he'd just wait until she calms down, and then ask her what's wrong, he only hugs her back and places his head on top of hers. As soon as he does, though, Ayano's babbling becomes slower and quieter, and he understands she's saying things along the lines of "they never got along" and some other things mentioning her siblings, until she's not saying anything anymore.

Eventually, only her hiccups and eventual sobs can be heard as she presses her face against his chest. Haruka tries to push tears back again but he's not so sure he made it this time. He hears her whimper, and sounds strange due her stuffy nose, "I want my mom and dad..."

After that, she lightly pushes him as if saying she didn't need the hug anymore, and goes back to covering her mouth with one of her hands. He sees the way there are _still_  tears rolling down her red cheeks, and he wonders if she's crying everything she hasn't cried until now.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, moving her hands so now they're covering her whole face, as if she wanted to push her tears back manually. "I got your shirt all messy..."

Quizzically, Haruka looks down to his shirt and sees the wet spot of her tears, and possibly snot too, but he shakes his head.

"A – Ayano-chan, I don't mind at all!" he wants to say something else, anything, when she just looks away in embarrassment. He hears Takane's voice speaking to himself in his head as he says, "Don't force yourself to stop crying..."

"I'm so _sorry_ ," she repeats, "I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am that you had to see me like this. You must be going through a lot yourself..."

It's just like when Shintaro said "who cares how I'm doing?" a few weeks earlier.

Haruka can understand why they might think that; but he wondered how was it that just because he couldn't walk his problems were automatically worse than anyone's. Of course, he'd like to walk, or to remember, or to avoid waking up in the middle of the night without being able to breathe normally or to stop crying, but– but it just seemed to him that it wasn't only him who was having a hard time.

If anything, it feels like everyone's having it worse, for some reason.

"They're on such bad terms," Ayano eventually says, and when Haruka looks at her, she's staring down the already forgotten and cold cups of tea. "They've never been in _good_  terms, but at least they spoke and had their moments– and now you're like this, without memories and..."

He definitely sees the way her eyes steal a glance at his wheelchair. She sighs.

"I want things to be normal," she lets out another sob, repeating in a whisper something else about her parents. And then, turning to him again, says, "It's unfair... we've done nothing to deserve these things. My siblings have done nothing to deserve all their losses. Neither did everyone else. Gosh, even Hiyori-chan and Hibiya-kun, being children–"

She goes on a bit more, but Haruka believes she's getting lost in thought. She starts to interrupt herself with something else, or sometimes to start crying again. She'd stay quiet and then say something else about anyone or anything, but she barely looked at him through it all. Haruka isn't sure she's telling him all of this because she trusts him, or because the situation led it this way.

He hears her speak about Shintaro and his sister, and the loss of their father which Haruka didn't know about. It leads her to go back to the subject of Shintaro not speaking to Takane, but then she interrupts herself and looks at him in what seemed (and probably was) the first time in like twenty minutes. Haruka's positive she's definitely speaking to him rather than to herself when she tells him that, the day she died, was the same day he did, and also the same day Takane did.

But as soon as she says the word "die" for a second time, she breaks down _again_  and he's just worried, he wants to cry himself, this was way too much tears for such a tiny girl. He's ready to hug her (for his own good, at this point) when she does it first, babbling a bunch of things of which he only catches "she told me she was in her way to tell you."

Then she goes quiet. It doesn't get his attention because she's been doing that, as if spacing out when talking, but after he feels like minutes have been passing he worries she might have fallen asleep. It'd be a problem if she did because he'd have to wake her, as he doesn't exactly have the legs to bring her back to her room.

Just as he's about to start mentally preparing himself to try shaking her awake, he's proven wrong when Ayano speaks, in a much calmer and softer voice that definitely sounded like it belonged to her,

"Please don't tell my siblings about this."

She breaks the hug but still holds tightly of his arms, looking at him with all the seriousness she could offer in her expression.

It wasn't like he was planning to. After all, he's sure anyone would be upset to hear about Ayano in this state, but he still almost asks why. Almost, because he remembers the little scene from today, when she scolded Kano for simply saying the word "dumbass" and understands. So instead, Haruka nods, and Ayano offers a gloomy smile that looked wrong on her face.

He brushes away from her face some of the hair that stuck to the dry tears left on her cheeks. She smiles again, and this time he smiles back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Sweating nervously, slids a new chapter almost a whole year later and attempts to run away.//
> 
> Kidding. Hello. Also, sorry, yes I know this took ages :( I wrote half of this chapter months ago and just got around to finishing it today, because even if the kagepro fandom is dead, some of you are still out there and just happen to like this fic, and it also just happens you're all lovely and send me messages asking for it, so here it is :')
> 
> To answer a question I get a lot: no, I don't plan on abandoning the fic. If I did abandon it I would probably say so somewhere. But honestly? The nice messages I get asking about the fic and telling me they like it is a HUGE reason why I haven't abandoned it, so thanks for sending them <3 
> 
> As always, sorry for any typos and sorry it's messy and all. Again it's not that shippy cuz it's not a relation-ship centered fic... well kind of //nervous
> 
> WARNINGS: heya I'm gonna put this in the tags but just so you know!! This chapter contains mentions of suicide and self-harm talk.

 

Haruka wasn't really sure how it went down.

One moment they are all having breakfast, chatting, laughing. The Kisaragi siblings are along this morning, too, so at first, it was a nice time.

But perhaps he was too focused on his food or in his chat about it with Kido, because before he could even understand anything, he started to hear violent accusations and yelling. He was quick to recognize the owners of the voices as Shintaro and Takane.

Especially because he just needed to turn his head to see the other end of the table, where the two kids whirled on each other, shouting so rapidly Haruka couldn't even try to follow. Judging by everyone's expressions, he guessed he wasn't the only one.

He isn't even sure how long it's been.

Ayano had stopped to unsuccesfully make them stop and simply backs off, sitting down on one of the dining chairs and bringing her hands to the sides of her head, as if she wanted to cover her ears but not quite. Kano approaches her and does what Haruka would have wanted to do, which was to simply lay a hand on her shoulder so she knew she wasn't alone.

It's then that Shintaro and Takane make a pause. They both steal a long glance at Ayano, and probably to the other upset people in the room, because no one was exactly comfortable in the situation. Haruka hoped (everyone else too, he knows) that was enough to make them shut it, but apparently, it only angered them more.

That's why they look back at each other, both almost trembling in anger, as they once more open their mouths to speak over one another.

"Now look at what you did!"

The fact they end up saying the exact same thing makes another pause descend onto them, but, again, it's just seemed to make them even more upset. Slowly, Takane's face goes red, but Haruka doubts it's because of any kind of embarrassment. She was just angry. Sad, even.

_Yes, definitely sad._

Angry at Shintaro, and sad because of Shintaro. Or maybe because she ran out of things to say to him, and now that they were quiet, whatever they said kind of needed to make sense.

"You're an idiot!"

Ah, but Takane doesn't have the time to think about these things, has she? Haruka winces.

"You're the idiot! You have always been! Don't you remember the way you acted back then in highschool!? You pretended to listen to music just so people would pay attention to you!"

"Don't act like you know me!" Takane screams back, letting out a sarcastic snicker between words. "It's not like you've ever sat down and talked to me decently!"

"Just in what position are you to say that to me?!" Shintaro yells back. "Because you didn't either, or not that I remember!"

"Oh, right, because those two whole years weren't enough of a decent conversation for you, were they?!"

"Why do you keep bringing it up!? Those two years were an endless nightmare, not some rehabilitation center! You've done nothing for me!"

The mention of the _two years_  makes Haruka's head hurt even more. Those are the two years he spent dead, right? He's not sure if he quite understands well what exactly happened between these two to have them in these terms, because everyone told the story a different way. According to Shintaro, Takane did everything in her power to make him miserable. Whilst according to Takane, although she doesn't necessarely contradict Shintaro's version, she claims she did her best to help him.

Which is the argument she goes for right now,

"If it wasn't for me you'd have killed yourself already!"

Argument that is sadly pushed off the cliff with something Haruka would have preferred not to hear. He's sure everyone feels the same. He's sure Ayano, especially, whom just a few days ago was crying on his shoulder about Shintaro and Takane glaring at each other, would have preferred to be somewhere else.

"I wish I had, so I wouldn't have to be dealing with all of this!"

There's silence from Takane's part again, but this time her anger mixes with nonplussed sadness.

She shakes her head, speaking in a much lower voice. Her screams from earlier showed in the way her words crack just slightly. "How can you even _say_  that?"

Haruka can see the way Takane's eyes fill up with tears, but she somehow keeps them in. She doesn't let them show, not even when she angrily shuts down the quiet tone and goes back for a scream.

"Don't you see how hard you make it for everyone around you!?" she pulls her own twintails, shutting her eyes tightly, maybe to hide the fact she wanted to cry. "Caring about you hurts!"

"Oh, shut up!" Shintaro, on the other hand, doesn't look anywhere near crying. Of course he looks angry, but most of all, it's like he's distressed, breathing like he's been running for hours now and hasn't had any water to drink. "Stop trying to play the good guy! Stop acting like you ever cared about me!"

"Well, then what about your sister!?" Takane points at Momo, who has been trying to focus her eyes on her already cold food. She jumps slightly in her seat when she notices the eyes on her, but all she manages to do was to simply shift her gaze from the table to the floor. Takane looks back at Shintaro, her voice firm, "Did you even know that in those two years that were an oh-so-very-terrible-nightmare for you, your little sister would sit outside your bedroom until she heard you make a noise _just to make sure_  you weren't dead?! Just how much of a good time did you think your _mom_  was having during those two years, huh!?"

It's at that moment Shintaro starts looking like he wanted to push back tears, despite the fact his eyes didn't look teary at all. He just stares at Momo, who was doing everything in her power to not look back at him, and frowns.

"You're an insensitive jerk!" Takane did look like she was expecting an answer, so when all he did is cross his arms and refuse to look at anyone anymore, she goes at it again. "And for the record, why else would I have stayed with you if I didn't care?!"

"If you cared so much, then why did you try to make me go out of my room, huh!?" he answers, speaking loudly and very quickly, as if talking so fast would make it end sooner. "I felt safe there! I was just fine reviewing anime and eating instant food, how is it that you hate me so much you made me expose myself to this world again!?"

"Shut your angst! Leave the lyrics for your stupid poems and don't you dare throw _that_ , of all things, to my face! That is the one thing you should be thankful for!"

"Just stop talking! I can't stand you! I never did! If you insist so much in having helped me, then fine, just get this: I didn't want nor _need_  your help. You're terrible! You just made me want to die even more! I just–" when he mentions dying, it triggers everyone again. Even Haruka felt incredibly uncomfortable upon hearing it over and over, despite he did not have memories of anything. Shintaro doesn't notice, or he just acts like it doesn't affect him, and covers his face in exasperation before asking, "If you wanted to help, then why didn't you just let me kill myself?"

" _Why_? You're asking me why–" Takane doesn't hesitate to answer, "Because I _care_  about you."

Shintaro doesn't, either, "Well, I don't, so leave me alone."

Haruka didn't understand if Shintaro meant he didn't care about her or if he didn't care about himself. He stares at him, and realizes that he meant both things. When he looks at Takane, he also realizes she thought the same thing.

She takes a breath, like she was preparing her voice to scream out one more time, but when she lets out the air she gathered, it results in nothing more but a sigh. Her face turns ways to a much more peaceful expression, despite the fact sadness was still noticeable. Despite the fact that Shintaro's answer had hurt her feelings was noticeable.

Takane nods.

"Alright."

And then she crosses her arms. They stop.

* * *

 

The fact it happened in the morning didn't help the case, to be honest. It felt like from now on the day could only get worse; which, of course, it did.

It was his turn to take care of dish washing. Or, dish-drying, since he couldn't stand up to wash the dishes, really. Kano was at it, because they were "chore-buddies" (or at least, that's how Kano liked calling it.)

They just have things organized so everyone takes a turn doing chores, it rotates to different people, and it just so happened that the randomized system paired Kano with Haruka and now they're stuck doing chores together everytime. Which doesn't help Haruka with his headache.

He shakes his thoughts away. That's mean, Kano's a friend so he shouldn't think like this, especially after this morning's event. It's just that–

"So that was a shit show," Kano says, "What happened with Shintaro and Ene, I mean."

Haruka only hums in response, simply rubbing a cup with the cloth. He really didn't want to talk about this. He's way too busy worrying about Takane to even have the time to talk about it. Because it just so happens that they're washing dishes from today's lunch, which happened without her because after the interrupted breakfast (or "shit show" as Kano called it. Haruka's not really one to swear but it felt like that was an accurate way to call it) she shut herself in her room and said she wasn't hungry; so she hasn't eaten lunch.

She didn't want to talk to him, either, which Haruka knows it's a stupid thing to be upset about. Takane just had an obnoxious fight with someone dear to her and _he_ 's stressing over the fact she didn't want to speak to him after it? Honestly, why is he so dumb? To think like that is possessive and inconsiderate.

Takane apologized to everyone for having them in the middle of the argument and to Momo for calling her out during it. Shintaro left early, and Haruka suspects he won't be coming back for a visit for a few more days. That was all, and he just has to wrap his head around the fact that Takane, sooner or later, will probably talk about it. To him, he hopes.

"Harukaaa? Ya listening?" Kano pops his bubble of thought with his annoying– um, _friendly_  voice. "You were spacing out."

"Oh," he offers him a smile. "Sorry, I tend to do that."

"Oh, no worries," he grins, and as he resumes washing he also lets out a little giggle. "It's good to know though, it kinda worries me when you stare into nothing like that."

That kind of made him angry with himself; he always so inevitably annoyed at Kano. He's nice, and Takane's really good friends with him, but he just finds himself having a hard time talking to him. Maybe because their personalities crash against each other rather than fit together. And maybe because he's so determined in annoying him (which isn't something Haruka made up, as Kano has announced proudly that he would continue to pester him until he got actually angry.)

"So, as I was saying," Kano continues, "I kinda see both sides of the arguments but if you ask me, Shintaro's being a major dick. Or perhaps I'm just too Ene-biased, even if she was also kind of an asshole."

Haruka frowns. Boy, he really didn't want to have this discussion, so he takes a breath, pushes his anxiety away, and puts in practice what Ayano tells him to say when he doesn't want to talk about something, "I don't really want to talk about it."

Simple as that.

Kano stares back, smiling and unimpressed, "Wow, why not? Can't stand me calling your girlfriend an asshole? You kinda have to admit it was a dick move to say that about Momo and stuff."

"She apologized for that."

"Wow, and I thought _I_ was biased!" he laughs. "Don't get so defensive, buddy. It's a really shitty situation so it's not cool to take sides. My sister's gonna try talking to Shintaro, and knowing Ene, she'll probably see sense after thinking about it for a bit."

Although Haruka doesn't necessarily disagree, it bothers him just a little that he says "knowing Ene" but he forces himself to suck it up. This possessive and dependent thing he's developing for her is not at all healthy, so it's better if he's making himself stop it early on.

Also, he already said he didn't want to have this conversation, so this time Haruka avoids answering. Except, he clearly doesn't know Kano enough, because that boy isn't letting him go so easily. It doesn't matter what they're talking about, Kano always manages to make him feel uncomfortable, which was perhaps his way of trying to make him mad.

"Well, since you _don't wanna talk about it_ , let's change the subject!" he says. "Let's play twenty questions, shall we?"

"What's that?"

Haruka pretends not to see the way Kano rolls his eyes. It makes him feel self-conscious when people get irritated when he asks something obvious. "It's this american game. I think it got morphed into something else, but it's basically asking twenty random questions to each other and we gotta answer honestly? It's supposed to help people know each other better."

Haruka grimaces, "I wouldn't really know what to ask."

"It's okay, you can be the answer-er and then you can have a go to ask me stuff if you want," Kano shoots him a smile. "You in?"

"...Alright."

"Great! No chickening out, and you gotta answer honestly!" he reminds him, and Haruka suddenly thinks this might not be a good idea. "Okay. Do you remember anything from when you were possessed by the snake?"

Not finding his voice to even ask if he heard the question correctly, Haruka looks at Kano a bit disturbed– Kano smiles.

"Too much for a first question? 'Kay, let's try with another one. Tea or coffee?"

"Eh," he awkwardly forces an answer out. "Tea, I suppose."

"Really? Personally, I'm a coffee guy," he laughs. " _Now_ , do you remember anything or not?"

Haruka concentrates in grabbing another dish. He wants to apply what Ayano told him again, and tell him he doesn't want to talk about this. He really wants to, but... but he could feel Kano's expectant eyes on him.

"No," he finally answers, and he can taste his own lies. "I mean yes. I mean kind of. I mean... I dream about it. I think they're memories rather than dreams. I–"

"That's okay," Kano smiles reassuringly. "I guess I knew that. Your room in next to mine and the walls are thin. I hear you talking to Ene and waking up crying and stuff, haha. Alright, next question!"

Honestly, how can he talk about this so lightly? What did he get himself into? He's too anxious to simply leave. They need to finish their chore and he needs to answer because he already said he would.  
  
Whilst Haruka's having an inner-battle with himself about his own anxiety forcing him into the situation and his common sense, Kano asks something else, "So I called Ene your girlfriend like, a few minutes ago. And you didn't deny it. What's up with that?"

Raising an eyebrow, Haruka looks at him to see if he's kidding, still a bit stressed about the other question, but Kano only shifts his weight from one leg to another in some kind of weird dance as he expects an answer. He sighs, also not wanting to deal with this particular issue either, "It's not like that."

"Oh, suuure."

"It really isn't," he answers, and he's honest, even if it kind of make him feel embarrassed. Plus, he's pretty sure Takane would have told Kano if anything like that ever happened. "I didn't even take notice on it."

"Of course you didn't," he mumbled, snickering. "Okay! Another question then. Cuz we're too many people and there are too many things to wash and boy, I get bored really easily and you're fun."

How is he fun? He's quiet most of the time, to be honest, and right now he's just flustered and nervous. Did _that_ amuse him? Kano goes again with another simple question, "Day or night?"

"Day."

"Same! Look at us bonding. Next one then. Do you cut yourself?"

Haruka almost drops the glass he was drying, "Wh- what?"

"Self-harm. Do you do it?"

"Why would–" he trips over his own words, putting down the glass and the rag he was using to dry and looks at him. Kano just smiles apathetically. "Why would you ask me something like that?"

"It's summer and you're literally wearing long sleeves and pants everyday. You never want to go to the bath house with us. I mean, just look at your sleeves right now. They're soaking wet because you don't roll them up to grab wet dishes," he snickers and as he enumerates all these things, Haruka realizes with an inane feeling of impotence he's been observing him. "Whoa, look at you all nervous! I'm right, am I? Oh god, does Ene know? Of course she doesn't, she'd _flip_  if she knew."

"I _don't_ – I don't do that, no," he can't even bring himself to say it. He didn't sound convincing at all. "I really don't."

"One of the rules is not lying," Kano mentions, _again_ , and Haruka looks at the door to make sure no one's listening to their conversation. "If you don't, then roll your sleeves up!"

"W – what?"

Kano nods, "If you don't have anything to hide, that is,"

Kano's intentions were all over the place. Was he trying to make him uncomfortable, was he just _actually_  curious, or was he trying to get something out of him? ...Was he _worried_?

Staring at him rather horrified, Haruka sighs. Whatever he's thinking, this is just not an okay thing to bring up and just ask to someone you barely know. Before he could bring himself to say this to him (and probably fail at it, and stutter everything instead) Kano adds,

"I'm just kidding," he grabs the detergent and pours some more in the sponge. Haruka absently remembers Kido nagging at him for using too much. "About you showing me, I mean. I just like reading between the lines and do stupid shit like assuming things and asking you about it, but... If I'm being honest, it worries me, that's why I'm asking you."

Oh. So he _was_ worried. Haruka can't find it in him to be angry or offended. Just upset. He grabs back the cloth he's using to dry the dishes, and looks down, "I'm saying the truth when I say I don't."

"Alright, good. I believe you. One less thing to worry ab–"

"But..."

Kano looks at him _actually_  surprised, an expression Haruka's never seen on him before,"There's a but?"

"You wouldn't be _wrong_ – I suppose, when you worry," Haruka swallows, and takes another breath. It was just _hard_  to talk about this, and the fact that the one listening to him is this boy didn't make it easier. "I– I have a few scars, so– So I guess... I guess the proper answer is that I used to. At least I believe so."

He was telling himself he didn't like this topic at all, but he couldn't help answering even if he could choose not to. It's then that Haruka notices he _wanted_  someone to know, to listen. Of course, it wasn't on his plans to make him "suspicious" like he apparently was, but he's realizing that he actually cared about the scars.

He tried to not pay attention to them. He first took notice on them when a doctor pointed them out on him, and sure, it made Haruka upset to think he would do this to himself and now he doesn't even remember it, but he figured that avoiding any thoughts on them could be easier. He didn't even remember not having them in the first place. There were a load of things lost in his past that he could not get back, and honestly, doing this to himself isn't a memory he's upset to have lost. ...But, at the same time, it kind of is.

"Sorry," he hears Kano say. Haruka turns to see him drying his hands after finishing with the washing. "I really am."

"...It's okay," he says, but then he gives it a second thought. "Actually, it's probably not okay? I forgive you, but–"

"Save it, I know," he offers a small and honest smile that Haruka found himself liking on him. "I kind of do that, sometimes. I'm invading people's privacy before I can stop myself. Thanks for being cool about it, though. So, anyway, next question. Black or white?"

"I don't wanna play anymore."

"Yeah, figured."

Even so, Haruka smiles back at him.

* * *

 

Despite that encounter with Kano was relatively fine, it didn't help with the stressful day. Now Haruka found himself adding to the list of his worries the scars.

Still, the list had a priority, and that was Takane. Especially since Takane came out of the room for dinner, and didn't say a word. Everyone was polite though, and acted as they always would. He tried to not stare at her all that much because he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but he really couldn't help himself. Takane looked like a mess.

The thought of her crying made him feel like his heart was being punched out of his chest.

It's pretty early to go to sleep, he knows that, but he still found himself already in bed. He kept telling himself he wasn't preparing for bed so early only because he wanted to talk to Takane, whom he shares the room with. It just made sense, because he had an appointment with a new doctor really early tomorrow. Well, not a doctor. A therapist– well, kind of a doctor. Huh, he forgot he was also nervous about that, how fun.

These are all the thoughts that go through his head as he stares into the darkness of the room. He sighs; his talk with Kano made him a lot more stressed, actually. All he could think about now were those marks. Should he talk about that with the doctor?

"Haruka? Are you awake?"

He jumps at Takane's sudden voice, which drags him away from all of his thoughts. Her futon isn't that far away from his, but far enough for it to be creepy that he was trying to focus his hearing in every sound she made as he was thinking. So it really took him by surprise.

"Yes, I am," he swallows the "and you?" question because it was stupid. Of course she's awake. "What do you need?"

"Oh, nothing, I just– no, nothing," she rambled."I don't know why I asked you anything in the first place, haha..."  
  
She sounded a bit upset, even if she had looked absolutely normal the entire time they were getting ready for bed. Helped him find his clothes, didn't sound awkward at all when she stumbled out to let him change, and was smiling and joking the entire time she was helping him out of the wheelchair to lay down properly. But it wasn't a "if he didn't know about this morning, he wouldn't notice she's hurting." No, not at all. Because it was obvious on her face; her smile was a very emotionally exhausted one and her eyes looked so, so sleepy. So he guesses it makes sense she sounds like this now.

"Are you sure?"

"I guess I wanted to apologize for today," she turns to her side so she's facing him, and he does the same. "I still feel pretty crappy about making you guys be there for that."

"You already apologized," he reminds her, and smiles, "And it's not like you had control over it, anyway. Neither did Shintaro. It's just the way things unfolded, unfortunately."

"Yeah, but– I... Yeah. I guess..." he sees her shrug under her blankets. "It just really sucks."

He hums in agreement, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. I've been alone with my thoughts all day so "talking about my feelings" is probably the last thing I wanna do," she manages a soft, but still forced giggle. "He doesn't want me in his life and that's that. It doesn't make any sense to be a baby about it, right?"

"Takane..."

He wanted to tell her that wasn't the case, that Shintaro probably said hurtful things out of the anger of the moment just like she did, but honestly, he had no idea. It makes him feel terrible not only because the whole thing is just terrible, but also because this would be the first time Takane showed how affected by something she was, and he couldn't help her with it the same way she helps him.

Takane comforts him all the time. He remembers Kano mentioning he hears the way she deals with his night terrors almost everynight. She explains things to him, she shows him love and she says she's sorry more than she should. She does all of that and more and he can't even find a way to comfort her when she needs it.

After a short silence, Takane just goes, "We should probably sleep, though. I have work and you have that appointment, so..."

"Yes, we should."

He sees her nod, "So. Good night, again."

Haruka smiles, "Yeah, good night."

They both of them turn to lay on their backs as silence takes over the room again. It felt... awkward, rarely enough. Awkwardness wasn't really something that took place between them so often, but this time he just somehow knew she was absolutely awake, probably not going to fall asleep anytime soon. He also knew that was his own case now.

Because the silence was heavy and almost like it was strangling him. He wondered if Takane felt like that. He wondered–

"Can I go over there?"

Jumping in surprise for a second time because of Takane suddenly speaking up, he looks at her in confusion, "Huh?"

Her question sounded like it popped out of her throat out of pression.

"Over there. With you. Can I?" she sounds embarrassed, but he pays more attention to her breaking voice. Haruka forces his eyes in the dark to make it out; she's crying.

He doesn't hesitate, "Of course."

Sniffing, and letting out the tiniest sob, Takane pushes her blankets off of her, and crawls to his futon. He receives her by sitting up and covering her in his own blankets, and this would be really, really awkward if the first thing she did when he lies back down wasn't to hug him. Fortunately, it's exactly what she does, and she just cries.

He hugs hers back, holding her as if she was the most precious thing in the world (and to him, she is), and asks, "What can I do to help?"

Her answer doesn't even take one second, "You're already helping."

He doesn't say anything else; he hugs her tighter.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Back with another update. A really long, boring, bad, unedited update. Well it is edited, but I'm bad at it and there's always stuff that slips past me. I can't believe how there are some authors out there that publish FLAWLESS fics. Like they're so well written, there aren't typos or anything!! How do they do it...?
> 
> Sadly, this is all I can give you.
> 
> No warnings for this one! Just boring slow-burn. Also, there's a non-canon character in this chapter that I don't plan on using ever again. It's not even an oc, I just wanted an outsider for a role, wrote the first name I thought of and there he was. So don't worry, that's not gonna be a thing.
> 
> Also, let me mention again this is a longass chapter. Wanna know how many words? Almost 8K

Going into the café, Haruka is absolutely delighted to see Takane's face. Of course, those aren't news, but he was especially eager to see her today.

He knew it was because they were visiting during her working hours; he's never been at Takane's workplace, and he really liked to see the way she smiles at costumers and told them "have a nice day." For some reason, he feels like her past self would have never done something like that.

"Takane-san!" Ayano, his companionship and the one pushing his wheelchair, also appears to be really eager (but then again, _when_  is Ayano not eager about something?) Maybe the reason why was coffee rather than Takane herself though, as she's been talking Haruka's ears off the entire way as she rambled about some new drink. Who knew Ayano would be so passionate about sugary coffee drinks?

Takane, like a normal person would, is startled and immediately shushes her, "God, Ayano! Don't just scream my name!"

"Sorry!" she didn't look sorry at all. Haruka can't help a little giggle. "Just wanted to say hello!"

"Yes, hello. Also, why are you here?" Takane glares at both of them, but he can tell she's not really angry. "I thought we'd meet up in an hour. You know, _when my shift ends_."

She does sound quite annoyed, though. Ayano laughs nervously as she places her hands on the counter, "Oh, I know! But I– I mean, _we_  thought we'd stop by earlier, and have some breakfast!"

"It's like eleven. Literally midday."

"A brunch."

Takane rolls her eyes, her annoyment apparently going away rather quickly, "Alright, whatever. Just tell me what you want."

Ayano starts to list everything in the menu displaced on a big board, despite having looked pretty settled on what she wanted to drink as they were coming here. Haruka, not knowing what any of those fancy names meant, simply looked at Takane with confusion. He meant to ask something about it next, but she understands the look and is faster to talk,

"I get it. Before getting this job I had no idea what all of those were. I had to practically study the menu," she smiles, and Haruka sighs in relief. He thought it'd be another of those moments in which he makes a fool out of himself by asking obvious things. "Don't worry, I'll make you something you'll like. Probably a sugary garb like the one Ayano's gonna ask for."

"Excuse you," Ayano says. "I just like asking for different things everytime! If Haruka-san is getting a barista's recommendation then I want one too!"

"Do not call me a barista."

"That's literally your job, though."

Takane cringes a little, and before she could say something else about it, someone emerges from the "staff only" room. It makes the conversation die instantly, because the person just stood there and _stared_  at them, not even trying to be discreet. All Haruka and Ayano could do was stare back, even if it was a bit rude.

It's a boy around their age. Short, has (obviously dyed) bright pink hair that under the heavy lights of the café it looked a bit strawy.

He looks at them, then at Takane, and then at them again. He's wearing the same uniform as her, so he's definitely her co-worker. ...Plus, he literally just came out of the staff room, so that probably should have been Haruka's first clue.

The boy finally decides on Takane to look at and grins, "So I wasn't dreaming, you were _actually_  talking to friends?"

"Weren't you napping?" Takane comes back to looking annoyed. She turns to them again, quickly disregarding the boy's presence and going back to the other subject, "Anyway, Ayano-chan. You gonna ask for something or not?"

"Ah, yes!"

Ayano immediately makes her order, which honestly sounded like a tongue-twister, so Haruka guesses they aren't talking about the guy who continued to stare at them anymore. He'd be okay with that if it wasn't that now the boy's eyes were on _him_  specifically, and no matter how much he tried to ignore it, it still made him nervous. He tried focusing on Ayano taking her money out to pay.

When Takane moves on to make the drinks, the boy talks again, "You didn't ask for his order."

"He doesn't know the menu, so," she shrugs, but there's a hint of embarrassment in her voice and face now. Weird, Haruka thinks. She didn't sound embarrassed at all when she said she'd make him something he'll like; she actually seemed in a good mood.

"D'aw, good friends I see," as soon as Takane moved from her spot, the boy replaced her and got obnoxiously close to them as he leaned on the counter. "I'm Taichi, nice to meet you. I like skipping formalities. I really like your hair, how did you bleach it to make it be so gray?"

He talks way too fast, and Haruka needs a moment to process everything he said, as he was just caught up in the fact that he simply introduced himself with his first name. Well, he did say he skipped formalities.

Haruka gets a bit lost in thought, like usual, so he forgets that he got asked a question and hasn't answered yet. Before Ayano could rescue him though, Taichi gets impatient and adds,

"I've tried dyeing mine gray but it always flopped and looked blond," he laughs. "I'm just really weak when I bleach it. See? This was supposed to be a cute pastel pink, but it was burning me so I took it off earlier and now I look like an obnoxious cartoon character."

As he talked, Haruka was honestly paying more attention in whether they were holding a line or not. Ayano, on the other hand, jumped right into an answer, "Oh, please! It looks lovely. It's true it's quite bright, but it really suits you."

Taichi, instead of thanking her, just opens his eyes in surprise and goes, "Amazing. Ene, your friend likes me."

The fact he called her by "Ene" instead of her real name grabbed Haruka's attention. He guesses she likes to be called that better, if that's the way she's introducing herself to others. The thought makes him frown. Does it bother her that he calls her by her real name?

"She likes everyone. Don't feel special."

Ayano shrugs and makes a defeated face as if to say "it's true," but Taichi still shoots her a smile before going back to the dye subject, "So? The secrets to perfect and shiny gray hair?"

He literally had no idea what to say. He's never even thought much about it; his current hair color is another outcome from the whole thing. Haruka ponders the concept, and as the side of him that _was_  paying attention to the other boy, he also started to panic slightly. Because he had absolutely no idea what to answer.

Fortunately, Takane's back at saving his butt. "It's his natural hair color."

"Ha-ha. I'm not that stupid, Ene," Taichi looks at her in disbelief, but after a moment, he completely drops the expression of confidence and now looks like the most confused person in the world. " _Really_?"

"Sure! It's rare, but some people are born with natural gray hair," she continues. "My friend comes from a family of gray-heads. They're one of the only three in Japan."

Haruka sees the way Ayano contains her laughter, and honestly, he also has to himself. He can't understand how Takane can lie so easily; she says something as silly as this, but in such a serious tone that it's impossible not to believe her. Still, you'd have to be _very_  naïve to believe that was a thing.

But apparently, her co-worker seemed to be very naïve. He was absolutely falling for it, "Amazing! I had no idea."

"Yup. He's used to this, so don't worry about being a jerk who stares for too long at other people," Takane places their two drinks at the other side of the counter, and glares at Taichi. "If you make a question about the wheelchair I'm firing you."

Taichi makes a scared face; apparently, she was right and that was gonna be his next question. All he does is hold his arms up as if to say "guilty."

When they move over to grab their drinks, Ayano raises an eyebrow at Takane, "I didn't know you could fire people?"

"I can't," she deadpans. "Anyway. This one is Haruka's and the one that seems brought from hell itself is yours, Ayano."

"Ohh, they look so pretty!" grabbing her drink and turning it around to look at it properly, Ayano beams. "You've gotten better at it!"

Takane nods and makes some comment about being able to put the whipped cream without making such a mess now, as Haruka's still hanging on the fact Ayano has visited Takane at work before and haven't brought him with her until today. Rude!

It's only when Takane shooes them away to go sit at a table that Haruka sees Ayano's order, and understands what she meant by "brought from hell" because he felt cavities from just looking at it.

Ayano notices the way he's staring and pouts, "Don't judge me."

"Not judging. Just concerned," he says, and realizes he hasn't said a word ever since coming in. Probably since leaving the hideout, actually. He guesses Ayano and him make a good pair, because she makes sure to be _always_  talking, to the point he doesn't even realize he hasn't been contributing to their conversation.

She sticks her tongue out at him through a smile. He's still trying to fold his wheelchair properly next to him, so he hasn't tried his own drink. It didn't look as fancy as Ayano's. ...Or fancy at all. It had the lid on, after all.

Once he's done with the annoying wheelchair, and was about to grab his cup, he sees Ayano grabbing it herself. She's placing their drinks together in the middle of it, holding her phone at the same time, and Haruka just blinks in confusion, "Um, are you... taking pictures of the drinks?"

"Yes. Again, don't judge me," she says, as he hears the clicks of the phone taking the photos. "I like documenting my life on Instagram! I'll make you an account when you get a phone."

He really had no interest in it, so he just laughs it off like he always does when anything that has to do with phones is brought up. Haruka was ready to move on to the next subject when he sees a shadow from the corner of his eye, and suddenly Taichi's with them again. God, this boy's going to give him a heartattack, he appeared out of nowhere!

"Oh, man, you're on Instagram? What's your account?" he's already taking his phone out, and Haruka would have honestly thought Ayano was as startled as him by Taichi's sudden appearence, but if she was she got over it very quickly because she was currently trading usernames with him.

Honestly, Haruka still has no idea what Instagram is or why Ayano is so obsessed with it, but he didn't comment. He distractedly takes a sip of his drink after it was released from Ayano's set-up, as he heard them talk about a cute feed or something, and he smiles to himself. He liked this drink; it was sweet, but he guessed that not as nearly as Ayano's. Just the perfect amount.

Plus, he guesses that Takane choosing it for him had a little to do with it, but he found himself falling in love with this cup of coffee. He absently remembers telling Kano he preferred tea, too, before he's taken out of his bubble like always.

"Does he always do that?"

"Yes, he spaces out quite a lot– Sweetie!"

He blinks, his eyes feeling a bit sore for staring at one point for too long, and announces, "I'm listening! Excuse me."

The other two just laugh, and Haruka feels his face reddening a bit. Gosh, it's so embarrassing when this happens.

"It's all good, I was just apologizing myself for being so annoying!" Taichi snickers, but Haruka tilts his head in confusion. He didn't think he was annoying at all, to be honest. Just too enthusiastic. "I was actually hoping to ask something to you guys."

Sharing a curious look with him, Ayano nods, "Oh, sure."

"Well, it's kind of embarrassing," he rubs the back of his neck, diffident. He steals a glance of Takane, probably trying to be dissimulated but failing at it (pretty miserably, too, because she absolutely notices and raises an eyebrow at him). "It's just that I have sort of a tiny crush on Ene, cuz– why should I explain, you've seen her. She's hot n' cold, I'm weak against that."

After the word "crush", Haruka's brain officially stopped working normally. Well, that was an exaggeration, but it was true he was invaded by a terrible feeling in his head and stomach at the realization of what question the boy was getting to.

"Anyway. I'm just asking what's her deal? Is she seeing anyone?"

He's literally unable to reason with the question. What– just _what_  is this obnoxious feeling? It almost feels like panic.

Haruka couldn't see his own expression, of course, but when he glances at Ayano, he _knows_  she's mirroring the exact face he's making. Meanwhile, Taichi, completely unaware of the awkwardness that just descended, expected an answer.

Ayano's fortunately the one to speak up, even if she's a stuttering mess due to the fact she had no idea what to answer, "Well, um. I– She's not seeing anyone, no. ...Technically."

" _Technically_?" getting distracted because of Ayano's unspecific answer, Haruka ends up asking the same thing as Taichi, _at the same time_ , and the two look at each other.

Realizing his mistake, Haruka immediately shoots his gaze to Ayano desperately begs for help through it. Her face literally read "are you serious?"

Taichi, however, continued to stare at him and brought an accuser finger up to point at him, "Ohhhh! Oh!"

"Wh – what?"

"Oh, man! You have a thing with her? Well, this is awkward!" he screams in a whisper, because Takane over-hearing would _definitely_  be awkward. Haruka's about to insist in _what thing_  and _of course not, what would make anyone think that_  but Taichi lets out a laugh and now moves his finger back and forth between him and Ayano. "I thought _you guys_  were a couple! With– with her pushing your wheelchair around and calling you sweetie and all. God. My bad."

Haruka looks back at Ayano, and she just shrugs and smiles a little. Well, yeah, it wasn't the first time people thought they were together. Ayano is often the one who picks him up on his appointments, so pretty much every new doctor he has always makes a comment on his "nice girlfriend" waiting for him.

"That's not a first for us," Ayano smiles. "But we're just besties! Right, Haruka-san?"

The horrible feeling is replaced by happiness. Haruka does his best to avoid the grin tugging his lips; he wonders if someone had called him their best friend so freely and sure of themselves in those memories he lost. He feels like the answer is no.

But now is now, and Ayano just did, so Haruka nods.

"Well, my bad then," Taichi repeats, and there's a hint of a blush that went well with his hair color. "I'm going to... walk away now because this got awkward. See you around...!"

Takane's co-worker takes a few steps back smiling at them, before turning and practically run into the staff only room he was initally in. Takane follows him with her eyes, making a face, and then sends them a look that basically asked "what's with him?" Haruka and Ayano just shake their heads as if to say that nothing's wrong.

"So that was something," going back to their drinks and interrupted conversation, Ayano sighs, "Also, I can't believe you!"

"What did I do?" he asks, and almost feels like a little kid while doing so.

"Oh, nothing," she says, smugly. "Just that you seemed pretty surprised yourself when I said Takane-san's not _technically_  seeing someone."

He just hums thoughtfully, which apparently isn't the answer she's looking for. She looks at him with a raised eyebrow, as if she knew what he was thinking, but she really didn't look all that intimidating. After all, she's sipping from a straw her ice cream-looking coffee while wearing a cat themed pink dress. ...She didn't look intimidating, okay, but the way she just continued to look at him, made Haruka feel like she was reading his mind or something.

"Wh – why are you looking at me like that?" he gives up, and Ayano beams silently. "It's not like that's any of my business, after all."

"None of your business!?" she exclaims. "You two _exhaust_  me! I can't believe you haven't even talked about it yet!"

"Talked about what?"

"Stop playing dumb!" Ayano sounded frustrated, but he can't take her seriously as she chews her straw. Still, her words embarrassed him a little, and he quickly started to shush her because of how loud she was being. She obeys, her cheeks puffed up in annoyment, "At this point you'll be getting married and the two of you would be like "oh but we're just friends!""

"It's _not_  like that, Ayano-chan," he tells her, but still avoids looking at anything beside his drink. The subject was just too much for him.

"It's not like that, you say!" Ayano rolls his eyes, being loud again. "Are you even aware of the way you look at her when she's around? It's like being a third wheel, even when there are like ten of us!"

"...You don't need to sound so upset," he says, but still feels a bit down. Unlike him, Ayano does remember, and things between him and Takane might have been like this for a long time. By "like this" he thinks; him pining after her. Haruka just sighs; this topic made his head spin. "There's not a lot to say. I suppose things will happen as they need to, whether that involves... her and I, and– and things. I don't know, don't look at me like that, it makes me nervous!"

Ayano's smiling from ear to ear, humming as if to humor him but clearly making fun. "Oh~ it makes you nervous? Why is that? Don't you want advice from your big sister?"

Did she just call herself his big sister? Isn't she younger than him? Haruka can't help laughing, but shakes his head, "No, thanks. I can manage."

It was something he actively avoided thinking about, he guesses. He just had so many other things to worry about that were a bit more urgent than his confusing feelings for Takane.

They weren't _confusing_ , per say. He knew the way he felt about her wasn't the same he felt for Ayano, Shintaro or the rest. From the very beginning, she was special. Haruka supposed it was because they used to be really close during their highschool days, but even he can figure out the difference between platonic and romantic love.

He was just too used to it; when anyone from their group referred to Takane as his girlfriend, he doesn't even correct them. Even she stopped doing so, because no one would even listen to her. Everyone was already set on that idea of them being together, which, honestly, was pretty rude. It felt like they were disregarding their feelings only because _they_  felt like they should be a couple.

But to be honest, he just didn't pay attention to it, and by the way Takane seemed to not even be flustered anymore told him she must've stopped caring altogether about what they called them. The thing he doesn't want to think about though, is the way _Takane_  feels about _him_. It made him stressed. Because sometimes, like when she's helping him out of the wheelchair even if he doesn't need help, when they talk the night away, or when she looks at him as if he were the only person worthy of attention in the whole world– it did seem like she feels the same as he does.

But as Ayano said, it was exhausting. Thinking about it made him embarrassed and emotionally drained.

As she continued to stare, though, Haruka allows a small giggle to make its way out. He rests his head on his hand, and says, "I like being with her. That's enough for me."

"Huh," she smiles back, a bit more softly than before. "You're too sweet, Haruka-san. You're making it hard for me to try and butt in!"

He laughs, "Then don't, Ayano-chan! I appreciate it but I'm content with the way things are right now."

"Are you, though? Y'know, if you got together you'd go on dates! And no! They wouldn't be like you normally hang out! I mean it'd get a bit weird since you share a room but..." she insists. "In these you guys could hug more often, and kiss, and walk holding hands...! I – I mean, hold hands when you're sitting down together!"

She nervously glances at his folded wheelchair, but Haruka isn't offended. After all, he was too busy panicking over all the things Ayano was enumerating, "N – now, that's quite a lot, Ayano-chan! Don't make it weird for me!"

"Eh, you've never thought about it?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what do you space out about!?"

"I don't know! Food?"

They laugh together, but Haruka's serious in his words. Not on the food thing (well, partly) but on this making it weird for him. He's sure that when Takane's shift is over and she joins them, he'll be really nervous and thinking too much of his feelings. God, things are easier when you avoid thinking of how in love you are, aren't they? Ayano just had to make him picture those things.

He shakes his head again. It shouldn't be weird at all; he's came in terms with his feelings for her, and he's pretty sure neither of them are embarrassed to hug or touch each other in general. After all, like Ayano mentioned, they spent a pretty big amount of time together and even shared their room (and the futon, that one time Takane's feelings were too many after her fight with Shintaro.) If Haruka was thinking of how in love he is with his roommate every second of the day it'd be a lot of trouble.

Geez, if by just remembering her _smiling_  made him feel like his head was boiling, then he doesn't want to be reminded of any of the hugs they've shared lately. Of course, he does, and of course, he just groans. Of course, Ayano's enjoying herself even if she can't read his mind (he tells himself this as a reassurance, but he isn't really sure.)

"Haruka, your face is red. Are you okay?"

Both Ayano and him jump in their seats at the sound of Takane's voice. When they look over, she's in her casual clothes, and her bag hung from just one of her shoulders. She looks at him with concern as she sits beside him.

"He's okay, don't worry!" Ayano cuts in, quickly saving him from Takane putting her hand on his forehead by changing the subject. "You got out earlier!"

"Huh? Ah, yeah I did. Taichi had a moment of decency and told me he'd cover my last half an hour since I always cover him," she seems trusts Ayano's judgement when she says he's fine, but Haruka can read in her face she wasn't fully convinced. "So I guess we'll be going sooner. Or at least once you guys are done with your drinks."

"Oh, about that," drawing their attention to herself, Ayano nibs on her drink's straw and sends a weird smile their way. Weird, because it wasn't wholesome and cute like they usually are. It felt... troublesome. "Turns out I won't be able to come along!"

There's a small silence that follows her announcement, in which Haruka just looks at Ayano almost expecting her to be kidding. Ayano, in return, just sends thumbs up, but he isn't sure if they're for him or for Takane. Either way, she was _not_  discreet at all, so her intentions were obvious.

Takane, not fooled at all either, crosses her arms. There's a scary smile on her face, but instead of calling their friend out, she plays along (which seemed to hurt her insides), "Huuuuh? That so, Ayano-chan? What's so _sudden_  that you have to cancel on us?"

"Well, I forgot I also made plans to visit Shintaro-kun already!" Ayano answers as if Takane was actually falling for it. "And I thought that was tomorrow, but turns out I had these two commitments the same day! I'm such a dummy!"

When Ayano sticks out her tongue as a clumsy anime girl, Takane slams her hands on the table, "You're doing it on purpose!"

"Why would you think that, Takane-san!" the other girl acts offended, but her smile's still evident under the act. "Are you suggesting that I would plan beforehand that I would cancel at the very last moment just so you guys would spend some time together?"

"That's very much what's happening here!"

"Is it?" Ayano looks at him now. "Say, Haruka-san, do you think I would want you guys to spend time alone so you could talk about the elephant in the room?"

"Don't answer her, Haruka," Takane just groans, covering her face. "Just go, Ayano-chan. Maybe it's actually best for us to go by ourselves instead of having your meddling butt along."

"You hurt me, Takane-san!" she answers, but doesn't really look hurt. Quickly checking her phone in between feigned tears, Ayano changes to her typical character again, "Oh, shoot! I'm late to see Shintaro-kun!"

Takane rolls her eyes, "Late? As if he had a schedule you have to worry about."

"Haha, I guess that's true, especially since he doesn't know I'm going," she adds, and before Haruka and Takane could ask her if she's serious, Ayano's already grabbing her drink and getting up. "Ah, gee, it's actually because of Momo-chan's schedules. If she isn't home, Shintaro-kun won't open the door. He just doesn't when I'm unannounced. Anyway, bye! Good luck on your date!"

She waved, she smiled, she left. She called it "a date."

Haruka steals a glance at Takane, but she's looking away.

* * *

 

Haruka didn't know where they were going beforehand. Takane thought it was dumb to keep it from him, whilst Ayano refused to let him know and insisted it was a surprise. Since it turns out Ayano isn't coming along, Takane immediately told him (maybe out of spite) that they were going to a museum exhibit.

Which he found very weird. Why on Earth would they decide to take him there? He couldn't think of a reason as to why Ayano would like to keep it a surprise, either. Still, it's true that when he finds out, the annoying feeling of knowing this has meant something to him appears in his stomach.

"You were always annoying me about it," Takane answers when he asks her about it, her words mixed with a small. "Ayano told me she wanted you to... get to know yourself better or something. So she asked me about your favorite places. I guess this doesn't count because we never got to come in the end, but y'know."

"Oh, I never came here?" he tries to ignore Ayano's secret shenanigans on trying to make him happy, so he keeps the gratitude for later on when he sees her.

"I guess. You and I actually made plans once though," he can see the shift in her voice. She went from casual to awkward very quickly, and that alone told him what comes next isn't pleasant. "But, the night before it you had an attack. So... that sucked."

"Ah. I see," he feels something bitter in his throat at the mention of an attack; he just really hated the word. Haruka shakes the thought away, "Why didn't we make new plans, though?"

"I don't know," she admits. Since she's behind him pushing the wheelchair, he can't really see her, but he can imagine the bitter grimace she always makes when she speaks to him about something bad from their past. "I guess it felt weird to bring it up. I think you were embarrassed about it."

"It could be," he nods, "I mean... bugging you about something until we made plans only for me to ruin those plans would indeed make me feel embarrassed, so I relate, haha."

"Don't be stupid, you didn't ruin anything. It's not like you collapsed on purpose or something," he can picture her rolling her eyes. "Plus, we're going now, so it doesn't matter anyway."

"Hm, yeah, I suppose that if we did go it would have been sadder."

"...How come?"

"Well, because that way, then that's just another precious memory I would've lost," he answers. "I mean, don't get me wrong! I'm sure we would have had a lovely time, but it makes me happier when I find out I didn't do some things that I'm doing now."

_Does that even make sense?_

Haruka's glad she can't see his face right now, because he immediately regrets saying that. Gosh, his conversations with Takane are always _way_  different than the ones he has with literally anyone else. With her, he's always oversharing and saying something depressing in a cheerful tone before he can help himself.

"You mean..." fortunately though, Takane's quick to answer and she doesn't sound annoyed or surprised. The first few times he'd say things like these she did seem a bit fazed, but he guesses it's only natural for her to get used to it. "That it makes you happier to know you missed out on a lot of things in the past?"

"...Well, that's one way to put it, yeah," he didn't really know how to put it in words. "I guess it makes me feel better to know there aren't that many nice memories I've lost, because there weren't a lot of nice ones in the first place. So far, the majority of what I know of my past isn't the most fun, you know? I might not have memories and I might not be able to walk and all but... But at least I don't have to worry about having limited time to live now. I get to grow up!"

He smiles, because as twistedly sad as it sounded, it makes him feel genuinely happy. Of course that at the back of his mind there's this annoying thought that told him he was talking too much, and that she probably didn't care about this, but Haruka shook it away. Takane has told him numerous times to not hear it. She cares.

To reinforce that, Takane conveniently just giggles, "You're so weird."

Haruka shrugs, "I guess. But at least it's a bit more positive."

"Well, of course," she agrees. "It's a ton more preferable to see it that way than to cry about it, right?"

He nods, and then they just keep quiet. From his side, because her words reminded him of her argument with Shintaro. From her side, he didn't know, but something told him she also remembered it.

For some reason, the next thing that comes into his mind is Shintaro telling him his version of everything on that rainy day. The story which involved Haruka asking him to take care of Takane when he's not around anymore.

Haruka shifts his eyes to the side to try and take a peek of Takane, even if he knew it was pointless given their positions. He wonders what he meant with "taking care of her." It's not like Takane couldn't take care of herself, honestly. He supposed he meant it more like "please stay by her side and be her friend", right?

He finds it a bit weird he didn't choose to tell that to Ayano instead, though. But then again, according to her, they weren't all that close to each other in the past. They were individually more close to Shintaro and Takane.

 _Shintaro_. He hasn't spoken to him ever since he and Takane had that fight. Of course it was because he hasn't visited since then, and it's not like Haruka had a phone to try calling him to talk, but he still couldn't help feeling guilty.

After all, Shintaro was the one to clear up all of his doubts when he was discharged from the hospital. It was in that same talk when Shintaro opened up to him and said he was his best friend, which Haruka responded by happily telling him they could just become best friends again. And here he was happy because Ayano called him her "bestie" earlier. Gosh, the guilt.

What if Shintaro believes he's taking sides and won't talk to him until he apologized to Takane or something? That would be horrible. Maybe he should go visit him with Ayano next time.

He jumps a bit in surprise when he realizes he's suddenly going up a wheelchair ramp. He really needed to stop getting lost in thought.

Clearing his throat, Haruka attempts to look like he has been paying attention the whole time and says, "In times like this it's nicer to be in a wheelchair. Those stairs look exhausting!"

"Honestly. Who designed this?" Takane chuckles, probably also glancing over the millions of steps next to them that led to the doors of the it museum. "Even if I wasn't pushing your wheelchair I'd probably take the ramp."

He laughs again as they get to the door, and just when he's about to get distracted by the old building and trying to find out what the exhibit was even about, Takane's finally on his sight again. She approaches the lady at the front desk and starts talking, probably about tickets or whatever, and she was enough distraction to ignore his surroundings.

One of the various cons of being in a wheelchair is not being able to walk next to the person you're with, because it meant he didn't get to see their expressions as they spoke and listened to him.

 _It wasn't even a long walk here,_  he reproaches himself. _It's not like I haven't seen her in hours or something. And even if they were hours, it's still embarrassing to be staring at her like this._

He tries to think about something else, but his thoughts get also caught up in the fact that the wheelchair also meant he couldn't hold hands with Takane without it looking awkward and weird.

Haruka quickly shakes his head and sighs. He's really frustrated with Ayano right now; it's _he_  fault he's now thinking about those things he's never given proper thought in the first place. She just had to make it weird, didn't she?

Usually, he doesn't like to agree with Takane's rude remarks, but this time he's one hundred percent with her. Ayano and her meddling butt...!

He decides to simply look away, and the first thing that welcomes his eyes is a sign that spoke about the exhibits and stuff. And suddenly, he's hit with realization.

Haruka feels a knot inside his stomach. He feels anxious. He feels like he's doing something he's waited a long time to do. He feels _excited_ , and he tells her, "Takane, I just remembered something!"

Takane quickly forgets about the lady who handing her the change and the tickets, and immediately turns to him, "What!?"

"I just remembered how COOL dinosaurs are!"

She smacks him in the head with her wallet.

* * *

 

Haruka doesn't appreciate how much Takane sacrificed today until he turned around during one of the guide's fascinating fun facts about dinosaurs and saw her nearly asleep. He just smiled at her, because of course it felt bad that she was bored, but it was also heartwarming to know she bores herself for the sake of his fun. Because, that's what happened after all. He had fun.

Even if most of the stuff he did consisted in taking notes of the guide's words and looking at bones and some drawings. Takane had called him a nerd numerous times now, and she still couldn't believe he was writing down _notes_ , as if it was a bad thing.

He did thank her and he did tell her that next time, they'll just have to do whatever she likes, even if it wasn't something he personally loved. She said she'd take the words by heart, so he better not forget that. Haruka just hopes she doesn't drag him to watch a horror movie or something.

"That's... really good."

Haruka immediately throws his arms over his sketchbook to cover the page, "It's not! Don't look at it."

Takane raises an eyebrow, but doesn't make any effort in peeking, shifting her attention towards her food again, "Why? It looked pretty cool to me."

On their way home, they decided to stop for a bite. It was a silent conversation as to why they preferred that over having dinner with everyone else at the apartment, Haruka supposes.

The reason being, at least from his part, that he wanted to spend more time with her. Everyone just teases them and conversations between the two were a lot more fluid, without mentioning that at the exhbit, as much as he loved it, there wasn't a lot of chit-chat.

"Thanks, but... It's flawed and not like this at all," he laments, sitting up straight again and looking at his drawing like it was the worst thing that had ever existed. He had already finished his food, so he was simply sketching. "Triceratops are hard to draw."

"You know what baffles me?"

"What?"

"That you _actually_ remember the stupid names of the dinosaurs but you didn't even remember you last name."

He can't help letting out a (probably too loud) laugh, "Hey, I _did_  remember your first name as well!"

"Are you saying I'm as important as the dinosaurs?"

"I'll give it some thought and then I'll tell you," he teases, and she just rolls her eyes. "Still, it'd be nice to remember their appearence. Drawing them by memory is harder than I thought."

Takane just hums, mostly because she was eating and didn't want to speak with her mouth full. She just takes her phone out, unlocks it, and slides it his way. Haruka stares at it, confused, to which the girl just rolls her eyes and hurries to swallow her food,

"Look for some picture for reference."

"Oh," he offers a small laugh, and hesitantly grabs the phone. "Your background–"

"Kano changed it this morning and I was too lazy to change it back," she explains, before he could ask. He still couldn't feel laughing a little at the really zoomed in picture of Kano's own face that was displayed as a background. "I changed his to a picture of– um, nevermind. You're not gonna get it."

"A meme?"

"Don't say that."

"But you and Kano always talk about the memes."

"Just use the phone, Haruka."

Her words might have made him feel a bit left out on the joke, but he smiles in relief when she gives him a knowing smile. Of course, he was just messing with her, since Kano (sadly) made sure he knew about those things, and didn't shut up about them for days.

Back on the phone though, he felt like he had no idea how to use it. But as soon as he has it in his hand and he sees the icons, it makes sense and he suddenly knows what he's doing. Of course, his fingers are a bit hesitant over the screen, but he knew what everything meant and how to write on it, so that was something.

(He still didn't want a phone that much, though. He feels like Kano would spam him.)

When he finds a picture he feels is useful, he puts the phone down and starts erasing some parts of his doodle. As he traces a line to start re-drawing a few details, he goes, "Say, Takane..."

"Yeah?"

"Your co-worker, today..." at the mention of him, Takane rolls her eyes. Haruka snickers about it. "He called you... he calls you by Ene, doesn't he?"

She nods, a bit of confusion in her eyes, "Yeah, so?"

"Sooo... I thought that maybe that was like a prefered name or something. After all, pretty much everyone calls you that except for me and Ayano-chan!"

 _And Shintaro-kun_ , he thought, but he avoided mentioning him.

"Oh," Takane looked a bit surprised, which altogether surprised Haruka. So it wasn't something that bothered her? "I never... thought about it, really. I guess I do prefer that nickname."

His pencil stops for a moment, but he keeps drawing.

_Just like I thought, then._

"But..." when she continues, though, Haruka looks back at her. "I'd prefer if you kept calling me by my real name. I like it better that way."

"Oh," he can't help feeling relieved. It might be selfish, honestly, but he liked her real name way too much. It was almost like he was attached to it; after all, it _was_  one of the only things he remembered. "Okay then."

He tries to resume on drawing, but right now, his feelings were distracting him. Takane telling him it's not just okay to call her by her real name, but that _she wants him to_ , made him way too happy. Way too fuzzy inside. And again, he concludes that... it was Ayano's fault.

Today has been filled with different reactions to small things, like just now, or just downright embarrassment and uncalled-for thoughts about holding hands or whatever. God, he knows he's in love; he has known for a _while_. Why did he had to be tortured with the awkwardness that came with it, though?

"Haruka?"

"Yeah?"

She sighs, she's blushing and... not looking at him. And he was getting nervous. And suddenly all the noises in the diner felt more and more loud; the clinks of glasses, the chatter, the background music. Because Takane looked like she was about to tell him something that's been in her mind for a while.

He swallows a little, and does his best to mantain his smile for her, even if she was doing everything in her power to avoid looking in his direction. Finally, she lets out yet another sigh.

"I just wanted to ask you if it bothers you when people treat us like we're a couple."

Oh. Okay. That was... not what he was expecting to hear.

It's not like he was expecting a _confession_  or anything! But... he does feel a bit disappointed now. Gosh, how ridiculous he's being.

Trying to postpone those thoughts for later, Haruka gives her his answer. An honest one, at that, "No, I don't. I mean, I _do_  feel like it's a _little_ inconsiderate to ignore our corrections– although, I do admit I haven't bothered to correct them a lot, but... but you get the idea."

"Yeah!" her awkward face is quick to go away, being replaced with a confident and (maybe a bit angry) one. "Like, tease or whatever I get that but _goddammit_  they just... they take it too far! Ayano-chan, Kano...! It annoys the shit outta me; it's like they've _assumed_  it just because _they_  think it's what should happen."

Her initially loud voice goes gradually smaller as she finishes speaking, and her embarrassed face is back as fast as it went away just now. Haruka feels his face a bit hot himself, so he concentrates his eyes on his unfinished doodle as he thinks of an answer.

Well... technically, they're doing what Ayano asked for and they're talking about the elephant in the room, aren't they? Or at least one of them.

"Anyway, I just... wanted to make sure you weren't like, uncomfortable or anything," Takane adds, when she couldn't handle the silence anymore (even if that silence lasted like five seconds). "I just thought that if the idea of it was so amazing, I'd just let them say whatever they want. Plus, I don't want to make you feel bad or anything, so–"

"It's okay," he reassures. "I don't mind at all. I actually never even tried correcting them because they just... literally don't listen, so..."

"Yeah, that's pretty shitty from them," Takane says, under her breath. "Anyway, I just thought I should bring it up at some point, y'know."

As she offers another smile, he feels his heart melt. He simply nods to her words and he almost has to remind himself to breath. God, it was scary how much her smiles can affect him.

He really wanted to say "I appreciate it,", he really did. He wanted to tell her that for thinking of his feelings towards that situation, especially since he knows she's pretty shy and talking about something like that took a bit of effort. But instead, he blurts out, "You're beautiful."

Takane's face freezes into that lovely smile that has just made him malfunction, but it looked considerably more nervous and awkward. She hums a bit before going, "Eh."

It's then that it hits him that he's _also_  incredibly embarrassed, "Sorry, I–"

His apology is interrupted by Takane's phone ringing. He looks over to it and sees Ayano's name above the green and red icons of the call. Without even reading who it was, Takane snatches it away from the table and answers. God bless Ayano.

Haruka, trying to cool off, picks his pencil back and absently continues the drawing, listening to Takane's side of the conversation.

"H – hey. ...Yeah, don't worry, we just decided to eat something in the way home. ...Because you guys are annoying as shit and we wanted a break from you."

The conversation flew by pretty quickly. What he got from it was that Ayano and the others were a bit worried about them not getting back yet, since Takane forgot to text them they wouldn't join them for dinner, which she apologized for. He also heard Takane threatening Ayano to kick her ass and things like that if she didn't mind her own business, but as she said that, he could hear Ayano's laugh even if he was sitting across from Takane.

When she hangs up, there's still heavy awkwardness between them. The phone call was covenient, thank God, but they'd have to deal with it anyway.

"So! Should we call it a day?"

Or... Takane could just pretend he didn't say anything. That worked too.

(And honestly, Haruka silently thanked her for doing that.)

"Yeah, it's getting late," he says, as she pressed the button to call the waitress and ask for the check. Still, he apparently didn't get tired of it, because before he could help himself, he's saying, "Hey, Takane..."

She winces, probably convinced he was going to bring up his sudden compliment from earlier, and desperately searches for the waitress with her eyes, "Y – yeah?"

"Thank you for today," he simply says. "It was a lot of fun."

Takane's expression softens, finally making eye contact again. There's still a hint of a blush on her face, but it doesn't stop another small and shy smile to tug at her lips, "No problem. I enjoyed myself too."

When the waitress comes and Takane's not paying attention to him anymore, he lets his smile fall.

He really, really wants to kiss her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Back with another update!!
> 
> As always, apologies about typos. I try my best to avoid them and to correct them, but I always fail. I guess that's just how it is :(
> 
> Note: I don't mean to antagonize Shintaro. But, you see, I do have my issues with him. But that may be because of Jin's writing, idk. I just hate how Shintaro was super nice to Haruka but he was an asshole to Ayano and Takane. Like, Takane, I can understand; that's a whole thing about their characters. But Ayano? He had no business being mean to Ayano if he was not to Haruka. Did he have a reason? Like was he gynophobic or something? Get out of my face, Jin. WHY WAS SHINTARO A JERK TO AYANO BUT A SWEETHEART TO HARUKA, GIVE ME A REASON??????
> 
> Another note: in this chapter there are a few mentions of popular games, movies and characters. It was inevitable; Haruka, Takane and Shintaro are freaking nerds after all. I don't make the rules.
> 
> *clears throat* anyway.

"Konoha!"

"Hello, Momo-chan! And... it's Haruka."

As Momo stares at him as if she couldn't believe he was real, Haruka offers a very awkward smile, especially because of the name she called him. He sighs, knowing it didn't make sense to stress over such a thing. He guesses it must be hard to get used to another name; plus, he couldn't blame her surprise.

After all, Haruka would be surprised too if he opened the door of his house to find an amnesic guy who couldn't walk, all by himself, behind it.

"Oh, shoot! Right, Haruka!" she says, letting out a tiny laugh to excuse her memory. Visibly relaxing, she leans on the doorframe. "You really surprised me! I was about to head out to the hideout, actually. You came here all by yourself?"

"I did!" it might be a bit silly to sound so proud about it, but he really didn't care. Since _he_  is the amnesic guy who can't walk, he isn't known to be by himself very often; let alone in the busy streets of the city. "I wanted to try being a bit more independent, you see, so Ayano-chan and Takane told me how to get here."

That is, after insisting over and over that they could just go with him. And it was hard for Haruka to stand up for himself, since Ayano and Takane also had Kido and Seto supporting them.

_"What if he gets lost?"_

_"He could get off at the wrong stop!"_

_"His arms could get tired of moving his own wheelchair for so long..."_

_"THEY GROW UP SO FAST."_

_"Ayano-chan, he's older than you."_

But there's a first time for everything; like coming to the Kisaragi siblings' place all by himself after Kano told the others they babied him too much and he was a, quote unquote, big boy now.

So, even if it was four against two (as Mary abstained from giving her opinion, for some reason), Haruka got what he wanted after Takane gave him her "blessing" (as Kano called it) and after she was convinced, everyone else magically agreed (reluctantly; but apparently everyone thought Takane's word was the final one when it came to Haruka. It _may_  bother him a little that they only listened after _she_  had agreed, as if she had more power in his decisions than _him_ , but...)

"And they probably told you over a million times to call once you got here," Momo adds, getting him out of his thoughts. Haruka laughs a little as he nods; he guesses she also knew them far too well. Momo quickly took her phone from her pocket and began typing (incredibly fast, he might add), "Don't worry, gotcha covered. I'm texting Ene-chan so she knows you're safe and sound at the Kisaragi residence!"

"Thanks!" he chirps, rolling inside the house after Momo gestured him to do so. "I _was_  nervous I'd get lost, but luckily your house has your last name at the front!"

"Yeah, cuz we've lived here since forever!" she tells him, and now that he was closer to her, Haruka realized she had one eye eyelined and not the other one. Momo realizes he's staring and goes, "I was doing my makeup when you rang the doorbell, lol!"

Haruka's never heard anyone say "lol" out loud, but doesn't comment on it, "Oh, sorry about that! Is Shintaro-kun at the store or something?"

"What? No, he's just a jerk, he doesn't care if I'm busy when someone's at the door!" she says it with a laugh, but it just makes Haruka sad. He thinks that's really inconsiderate from Shintaro. Momo didn't seem affected, though. "I'm guessing you're here to see him, right? Maybe that will force him to spend time downstairs."

Momo closes the door, and the fact she mentioned that made him wonder if Shintaro would become a shut-in again. After all, Ayano's updates on how he's doing aren't really updates, because all she ever says is "he's the same as ever."

"...Yeah, I'm here to see him. I haven't since he had that fight with Takane."

"Yeeeah... he hasn't exactly visited again after that– He can be such a drama queen."

"Well, I hope he's not upset with me."

"Why would he?"

"I don't know. I don't want him to think I'm taking sides or something..."

Momo comes back to his sight after pushing his wheelchair to the living room (he was too embarrassed to tell her he could move it himself; she was just being polite, he supposes), "I guess that makes sense. But don't worry, if anything, he'll feel the same."

"You mean, as in me being upset with him?" he asks, and she nods. "Why?"

"Well, because he regrets most of the stuff he said. Y'know, he kind of was the biggest asshole between the two and he knows that. My brother tends to be the _worst_ when he gets mad, and says a bunch of things he doesn't even mean," Momo explains, taking a glance upstairs. "I mean, from my point of view, Ene-chan wasn't really wrong? Like, she got a bit temperamental and all but you can't blame her; my bro can be really infuriating."

Shifting uncomfortably in his wheelchair, he listens carefully. If Shintaro really did regret saying some of the stuff he said, then Haruka can't imagine how he must feel. He bets it's pretty awful, since even his little sister thought he was terrible.

"But what can you do," Momo yawns, absently. "Anyway, I'll go get him for you."

"Ah, thank y–"

" _HEY_ , BIG BROTHER!"

Haruka, very much jumpscared, almost felt his soul leaving his body. He really didn't expect Momo to climb two steps of the stairs and then scream at the top of her lungs.

"NOT OPENING THE DOOR!" Shintaro's (also loud) reply is fast to come, and his voice sounded muffled since he was, most likely, locked inside his room.

"BEEN THERE DONE THAT, ASSHOLE. YOU HAVE GUESTS!"

"UGH, AYANO, I _TOLD_ YOU TO STOP COMING UNANNOUNCED!" he screams back, but now there was some noise coming from upstairs too. And then they could hear his door opening, and then his heavy and quick footsteps. "My room's a mess, so you'll have to deal!"

Momo had already sat down on the couch, leaning towards her makeup station set up in the coffee table. Haruka now felt incredibly out of place, since Momo hadn't corrected Shintaro's assumptions about his guest being Ayano.

"Did you at least bring snacks, dork?" now he was coming down the stairs, "Because I swear you're not tricking me into going outsid– OH."

Shintaro _freezes_  at the sight of who it actually was, and it only made Haruka feel weirder. Still, he does his best to be casual, "Hello, Shintaro-kun!"

He blinks back at him, and goes down the last few steps glaring at his sister, "Why didn't you tell me it was him? I wouldn't have yelled if I knew!"

"Aw, you want to make a good impression for your senpai?" Momo snickers teasingly, not even looking at him as she shuffled in her makeup bag. "Get over the crush, nerd, he has a girlfriend."

"Shut up, germ!"  
  
"You shut up, and take a bath!"

"You take a bath!"

"Um," Haruka clears his throat, awkwardly patting his bag on his lap, "If it makes you feel better, Ayano-chan did pack snacks for you. Sorry for coming unannounced."

Shintaro looks back at him again, and Haruka feels just a tiny bit afraid. He's still worrying about him being angry, after all. But all he does is rub the back of his neck in slight embarrassment about his tone, and says, "Y – yeah, thanks. And it's fine, I'm used to it because of Ayano."

"Stop it with the blushing, big bro! It's creepy!" Momo exclaims again, but she isn't even looking at them; she was too busy applying her fake lashes, with an instrument that looked like a weapon. It made Haruka's eye feel weird by just looking at it. "Your crush is showing again."

"Stop it with the crush thing. You're gonna make him uncomfortable!"

"I don't mean to, Haru!" she giggled, blinking repeatedly in front of the mirror to make sure she got the lash right. "All of the Mekakushi-dan low-key has a crush on you, though, if it's any better."

"It's... not."

"Momo, stop telling him his roommates have the hots for him. It's creepy."

"I didn't say we had the hots for him, and I say _we_  including ourselves," Momo reiterates. "We just think he's cute and nice. Who wouldn't have a crush on him? Look at him, big bro! Ene-chan is so lucky."

"I'm so sorry for my sister."

The girl sticks her tongue out at her brother, and Haruka thought that was the end of it until Shintaro stuck his tongue out back. Momo then started making fart noises and _then_  Haruka was certain it ended, but Shintaro just followed.

"EW, YOU'RE GETTING SPIT IN MY MIRROR!"

"You started!"

 _Weird,_  Haruka thinks, _Apparently this is how siblings interact?_

He's never seen this kind of banter between Ayano and her siblings, though. Kano and Kido do fight sometimes, but it wasn't like this. Usually it's Kido nagging at Kano for doing something like drinking all the milk and putting back the empty carton in the fridge... or putting fake spiders in the bathroom just before she went in for a shower.

In short, they never fought like Shintaro and Momo, never in that... childish way. And in some weird way, it didn't feel like they were even fighting, and rather like this was just a casual interaction between the two.

Haruka concludes it's a Kisaragi thing.

Momo had gathered all of her things back, apparently done with her makeup (which, in Haruka's opinion, was really exaggerated and she looked a lot prettier without it) and was making her way up the stairs. Not without pushing Shintaro lightly as she passed by.

He pushed her back, and Haruka found himself realizing exhanges like that between them might be how they show their love. He wonders if he'd treat his siblings like this or the way Ayano does. Then, he wonders if he even has any siblings in the first place.

A huge part of him was excited at the idea; who's to say he didn't? For all they knew, he could be a big brother like Shintaro or a little brother like Seto and Kano. Oh, if it wasn't for that stupid and bitter thing in the back of his head telling him he was none of those things.

"Is... everything okay?" Shintaro suddenly asked, once Momo had disappeared upstairs. "You look kinda lost."

"Ah–" Haruka shakes his head, trying to get the thoughts away from his mind, which is something that has became a nervous habit of his. "It's... it's nothing, really."

"Alright..." he didn't look entirely convinced, but fortunately, he didn't ask any more questions and decided to move on to another topic. "Anyway, are you here to, like... tell me off for what happened?"

"What?"

"Because I'll take it. I know I deserve it– You probably don't want to see my face ever again, and I understand."

"Excuse me, Shintaro-kun," Haruka offered a smile to calm his friend down, but it didn't seem to work. The other boy had tightly closed his eyes, as if getting ready to take a punch. "Are you assuming I came all the way here to say something hurtful to you?"

He opens his eyes, looking back with curiosity, "You– you didn't?"

"Heavens, no!" Haruka laughs. "If anything, I should be angry at you for assuming I could be that much of a meanie!"

He blinks back, incredulously. Haruka could see that Shintaro, after processing his words, had the tiniest of smiles tugging at his lips. He tried to fight it though, and looked away, "You... you talk like a grade-schooler."

"You were just making fart noises at your younger sister, Shintaro-kun."

"Shut up," he quickly answered, crossing his arms as if to shield himself from any more embarrassment. "So you're... not mad at me for yelling at, y'know, _her_?"

"Her name isn't cursed, Shintaro-kun," Haruka sighs. "And no, I'm not. That's between you and her, anyway. Of course I'd love for you guys to make up, but I guess I'd like to hear your version first. Momo-chan commented you regretted most of what you said."

Shintaro shrugs, flattening a bump in the carpet with his foot to keep himself busy. He seemed to be about to say something else when Momo appeared again, jumping down the stairs.

She seemed to have changed her mind about her outfit in the last minute, as she was wearing a different skirt now. She jumped around a little more before sticking to an exaggerated pose, leaning against the kitchen's door.

"How do I look? Breath-taking? Gorgeous?"

"Your makeup makes you look like Miss Piggy."

"Thank you!"

"It wasn't a compliment."

Before Momo could get back at Shintaro, Haruka speaks up, "I think you look very pretty!"

Of course she'd look a lot better if she didn't have that much makeup on, but he guessed it was hard to make someone as beautiful as Momo look anywhere near bad, so he wasn't lying.

He doesn't know what he was expecting her to answer, but he's certainly surprised when the girl lets go of the excessive modelling poses as soon as she hears his compliment. She looks at him as if she were shocked.

She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, in a very shy and uncharacteristic way, "You think so?"

He looks at Shintaro to check if he's surprised too, and _of course_  he is. Haruka decides to handle the situation as if this was normal, because honestly, what does he know? "Of course!"

"Thank you!" her bashful behaviour washes off pretty quickly after that confirmation, although a small hint of a blush still painted her cheeks. "Haha, even a famous idol wants someone outside of her fans to compliment her, y'know? Everyone usually just makes fun of my style, after all."

She shot a quick glare to Shintaro's direction before sending a smile Haruka's way,

"So it means a lot! I'll get going now!"

Momo can't make it to two steps before Shintaro interrupts,

"I– I didn't mean the Miss Piggy thing!" he said, his voice cracking slightly, and probably louder than he had intended. He clears his throat after noticing, and tries again with a slightly deeper voice that he was obviously forcing, "I didn't mean the Miss Piggy thing, uh. You– you do look pretty, I guess."

She hums thoughtfully, as if she was considering whether to accept the compliment or not. Or maybe whether to believe he was serious or making fun of her. She seems to conclude to have hope in her brother, "Thanks, big bro! Wish I could say the same about you, but you smell bad."

"Hey! I'm trying, you know–"

He cuts himself off when Momo plants a big and _very_  noisy kiss on his cheek, "I know! Anyway, bye!"

"EW YOU GOT MY FACE ALL WET–"

Momo ignores him, and also takes the time to give Haruka one of her kisses, but his lacked of the gross sound and was on his forehead. And then, he's left alone with Shintaro, who was wiping his cheek with his sleeves.

They hear the door closing, and Haruka feels like it's safe to wipe his forehead too, "She got lipstick on me."

"Lucky! I got that _and_  like ten more of her products, _plus_  saliva!"

Shintaro isn't saying it for the sake of comedy, but Haruka laughs anyway.

* * *

 

" _AND THEN_ , she changed every, and I repeat, _every_  file name to the word TITTY. In caps. And when you repeat a file's name it automatically puts numbers in parenthesis to difference them– so I literally had files with names like TITTY(578). And guess what, I STILL DO. BECAUSE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME, A PERSON WHO DOES NOT LIVE INSIDE A COMPUTER, TO CHANGE THE NAME OF _EVERY SINGLE FILE_ –"

Haruka nodded and did his best to look like he was following him, but he was embarrassed to admit that he had already lost track of what they were talking about. It was about Takane, he knew that much, but Shintaro talked _way too fast_  and often started telling another anecdote in the middle of another and then never finished, so it was a bit confusing. He just patted his back in an attempt to comfort him everytime he seemed close to tears as he reminisced about Takane's time as Ene.

"W – well, at least you had fun together."

"That was _not_  fun. At least not for me," Shintaro growled. "Ene laughed for like three days straight. And absolutely refused to change the names back!"

Haruka let out the tiniest chuckle at that, but quickly drowned it in his cup of tea once Shintaro looked at him like he was offended. Shifting slightly on the couch, he tries again, "Well, but I'm sure there must be _something_. Like, when you watched shows, I suppose she didn't have much of a choice aside from watching with you, right? You must have a ton of stuff in common!"

"...I guess," the other boy scrunches up his nose, reluctant to admit it. "...It _was_  fun to discuss about shows together. She always made good points."

"See?" he claps his hands together, slightly excited. He did well bringing it up, as Takane had already mentioned to him Shintaro and her used to share things like that. "Wouldn't you want that back?"

"That doesn't–" he stammers a bit, trying to find the right words. "Things like that make it harder, senpai. Like, I didn't even think Ene was a real person at all! I just thought she was an AI gone incredibly wrong! Some sort of GLaDOS type of case!"

"What's glados?"

"See? Now I'm angry that she hasn't made you play Portal yet," officially, Haruka had no idea what Shintaro was talking about. He sinks himself further on the couch's cushions, groaning, "I... I _guess_  it'd be cool to be friends like that, but..."

"But?"

"But... she let me believe everyone was dead when she was still there," he says and oh, okay, they're getting back to this discussion. Except that, this time, Shintaro didn't sound anywhere near mad. His voice was soft and honest. "If she just _told_  me who she was, maybe I..."

He stops, and sighs for what it seems like the millionth time.

"Maybe I wouldn't have felt so awful, I don't know," he's mumbling, but it's clear enough for Haruka to understand. "If I knew she was alive when Ayano... I mean, wh -when you guys–"

He looked nervous he'd offended him, but Haruka didn't mind; he knew Ayano and Shintaro had a special relationship, after all. Sometimes, Ayano also found herself saying only Shintaro's name, when she was supposed to say "you guys" or some other thing. Rarely enough, though, the Dan _never_  teased her about it. If anything, her siblings always looked pretty grumpy about it.

(Haruka doesn't get it. The Dan, after all, was _very_ prone to teasing, especially when it came to things like this. They still haven't let Takane forget the time she accidentally called Kano with Haruka's name.)

"If I knew she was alive when you guys... died, we could have been there for each other," Shintaro continues, now fiddling with the empty can of coke on the coffee table. Apparently, he can't talk about his feelings without moving excessively. "But... I don't know, I guess I was just angry about how she acted like she was the bigger person, like, _ohhh, look at me, I'm so selfless! I only wanted what was best for you_!"

Haruka laughs a little at Shintaro's poor impression of Takane's voice, but decides not to comment on it to not let go of the matter at hand. He places his tea down, and says, "Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do, trying to make you forget."

" _Thank you_!"

"But your idea of how to cope with it wasn't... better," he points out, and Shintaro automatically groans again. "Now, don't be grumpy about it. Trying to make you forget wasn't a great way to make you feel better, but it certainly was a better option than... what you were doing."

"You mean, crying myself to sleep every night wishing I was dead?"

"I would have said "refusing to let go of the past", but you can put it like that too, if you want," he laughs again, trying to ignore just how sad Shintaro's words actually were. "But... Eh, what are you supposed to do when you die but you don't _actually_  die?"

"I... I don't _know_? I mean, she deserved that as much as you deserved that!" he gestures angrily at Haruka's wheelchair, folded and placed in a corner of the room. Shintaro brushes his hair back with one of his hands, frustrated, "She's just a kid like the rest of us, after all! Does it suck what happened to her?  _Of course_. Did she deserve it? Not really! But she needs to _stop_  playing the victim with me! She acts like it was her job to take care of me or something, and it _wasn't_. It's not like anyone asked her to!"

A tiny pause descends onto them after he says that, in which Haruka can only look away. His silence must have been a lot more telling than he thought though, because Shintaro's annoyed expression slowly turns into confusion.

"No one _asked her_ ," he repeats, unsure this time. "...Right?"

"I – I mean," nervously, Haruka offers his best smile. "Not... directly. But... um, you know how... the three of us died on the same day?"

"...Yeah, and?"

"Aaand... Takane and Ayano-chan sort of ran into each other, and talked about some stuff... before they died."

"What."

"Stuff about you," Haruka says. And then, in an even more unenthusiastical voice, "And. And about me, apparently."

"You're telling me," sitting up straight, Shintaro looks at Haruka as if he had just told him the most interesting thing in the world. "Ayano, _right before throwing herself off the school's roof_ , had a _boy talk with Takane_?"

"I didn't say that," he shakes his head, frowning a little. Putting it like that sounded very silly, and it made Ayano sound insensitive and immature, like it devalued the whole reason why she did what she did. "Ayano-chan told her you needed someone to be with you. And... and that was the last conversation Takane had with anyone before dying, so she really had it in her mind– you... you weren't the only one crushed about us dying, y – you know?"

Shintaro immediately opens his mouth, as if to defend himself, but quickly shuts it again. Instead, he looks away, with an expression that was very hard to read. Haruka felt good, though; he noticed that his words made him a bit annoyed, but instead of disregarding the subject, he decided to think about it.

"How do you know all of that?" he eventually asks, as if it mattered.

"Takane told me."

"Of course she did," he replies in a mumble. "And what did they say about you?"

"Eh," Haruka felt reluctant to answer the question, because it helped validate Shintaro's point in calling it «boy talk». Still, he wasn't a fan of lying, so he gave an honest answer, "She didn't want to tell me."

" _Of course she didn't_ ," he repeats, letting out a dry giggle. At least he seemed a little less sulky, Haruka thought. "So _that's_  why she decided to torment me all this time, huh... it was Ayano all along. Why am I not surprised?"

He laughed again, but in a way that could be mistaken with sobbing.

"But I do know," Shintaro sighs again, humming in thought. His voice sounds tired and resigned. As if the lower his tone was, the less it meant anything to admit he was wrong. " _I know_  she didn't know any better, but... I guess neither did any of us, anyway."

Haruka nods, happy with the boy's new sincere attitude. He grabs his tea again, hoping it hadn't gotten cold, "What is done is done, anyway. You guys don't need to work out who was right or wrong, or less wrong or less right– Just come to a shared agreement so you can be at peace."

"You talk like this is some sort of war," Shintaro says, letting out another weak laugh. "Has... Takane talked to you about this?"

"No," he answers honestly, maybe allowing his dejection to show in his voice. He avoids details on his feelings about it, though. "She's kind of trying to forget about it. That's how she copes with things, I guess."

"So you have no idea how she'd react if I wanted to make up?" Haruka immediately looks back at Shintaro, surprised, and he quickly adds, "Hy – hypothetically speaking."

If he were speaking to Takane, he'd tease her to no end, just like he always does when she says "hypothetically speaking" to get herself out of something embarrassing she said. But this was Shintaro, and Haruka found no joy in trying to tease him, for some reason. He shrugs, "I think she'd be up for it."

" _Why_?" when Shintaro suddenly raises his voice, Haruka jumps (and almost spills his tea). "I was terrible to her! No one in their right mind would want to see me again after all the things I said, and yet Ayano–"

Shintaro stops himself, as if taking a needed pause. It was obvious he meant to say Takane's name, but Haruka guesses it wasn't just her who was in his mind. Instead of correcting himself, Shintaro looks away,

"And yet... Ayano still wants to be around me," he continues, letting his body relax again. "I was the worst to her during highschool. And I thought– I thought that everything I said to Takane would be the last straw, and she'd never speak to me again. But the next day, surprise, here she was, holding that stupid box with stupid homemade cookies that were the best thing in the whole world."

"You– you want Ayano-chan to stop talking to you?"

"No! No way! But at the same time... kind of?" he starts off pretty convinced about his answer, but ends up sounding very doubtful. He stumbles a little over his words before continuing, "Ayano makes me feel awful when she visits me. Because she comes here, and she's as nice as ever, happy just hanging out while I'm with my laptop and she reads whatever manga she finds and talks nonsense all day until she leaves. Like– she's so good to me. And the more she does that, the more I remember that I don't deserve it."

He pauses. Haruka keeps quiet too, patiently waiting for him to say everything that was on his mind.

"You say Takane would probably give me another chance," he resumes, "and it makes me so, so angry. Because _I know_  she would, and that just reminds me how much better than me she is."

Another pause. Haruka tries to think of something, anything, to say and make him feel better. To make him feel like he mattered, and that this wasn't about who was better than him. But Shintaro speaks up again before he could, mumbling under his breath,

"What would I even tell her?"

"...Apologizing may be a good thing to start with," Haruka says, quietly. Shintaro looks back at him for what seems like the first time in hours (he knew it wasn't), and raises an eyebrow. "I – I mean, if you did, she'll probably apologize for the things she needs to apologize about, too. And if she doesn't, you can tell her she should because she has made you upset, too... right?"

"Why can't she say sorry first?" he crosses his arms, and Haruka immediately recalls the way he acted with Momo earlier in the day. Jeez, he should stop applying that sibling banter in every relationship he had.

"Well, you kind of told her to stay away from you."

"Oh, _god_ ," Shintaro groans, burying his face on his hands. "I really did say that to her, didn't I?"

"...Yeah."

"And I told her I didn't care about her."

"You did."

"And that she should have let me kill myself."

"Yes."

"And I said those things _in front of everyone_ ," he cries some more; his voice muffled as he covered his face. Even if he couldn't see him, Haruka awkwardly nods. " _God_ , I really am the worst."

"Don't say that about yourself, Shintaro-kun," he starts, and the other boy quickly mutters "yeah, yeah" as if to tell him he already knows what he's gonna say. Haruka frowns, "Well, okay, you can say whatever you want. But you like it or not, _you will_  become better if you apologize."

With that, Shintaro does get his hands off his face, looking at him in surprise. Haruka smiles, and adds,

"And not only to Takane. I'm guessing there's someone else you'd like to say sorry to, right?"

"...I, I do need to make things right with Ayano, too," he looks away, going back to keep himself busy with the empty can of coke. As he drummed his fingers on it, he said, "Hey, thanks for... being patient with me."

Haruka smiles widely; Shintaro did say "too", so that meant he got convinced to apologize to Takane as well. He felt weirdly proud of himself, he must admit, "No problem!"

"Really. Ayano doesn't even mention this whole thing in her visits. I don't blame her though, she's been through _a lot_ , so she probably wants to avoid–" as he rambled, Shintaro cut himself off. Intrigued, Haruka stared back, as if telling him it was fine for him to continue, but his friend suddenly shook his head, and got up from the couch. "Enough about this! Let's do something else!"

"Huh?"

"You came here to hang out, right?" Shintaro looked at him over his shoulder, as he sat in the coffee table to do something with the tv. "So let's do that. You even said you brought snacks. Just tell me something Takane wants to watch with you, but haven't gotten around to it yet."

"Um, why?"

"So I can watch it with you first and piss her off," he says, as if it was obvious. "So shoot."

* * *

 

There was blood and bodies on the ground. He feels like he hears screaming, crying, but everything's quiet because everyone's dead.

But not everyone, is it? The screaming he feels like he's imagining is real. At least, one of them is, so he looks down to the quiet girl who sobbed in silence.

"And then there was one left," a voice says, and he feels like his heart is going to get out of his chest. But it isn't, and instead, it beats at a normal speed, calm as ever. "Ah, my queen. My tragic, tragic queen. When will you stop crying?"

She refused to look up at it. She continued to mourn, as if the voice hadn't talked. Her light blue dress was dirty with red, and it crushed his soul to spot bloody hand marks on it.

"All you ever do is cry. All you've ever done is cry," the voice continued to say, in a slow and foul tone. It sounded like it was trying to keep itself from laughing, "I'd say it's no fun anymore, but everytime, I always look forward to see it."

She dares to look. She shows him her literally broken and cracked face, her red eyes.

"To see them. To see you."

He feels himself nod.

"We always do," the voice said. "Don't we, Haruka?"

Sounds get flurry as he sees two yellow eyes shine on the reflection of the gun handle. And Haruka wakes up when he recognizes the owner of the eyes as himself.

"Konoha!?"

Momo's worried face is the first thing he sees. She's holding his shoulders, calling him by a name it's not his, but Haruka couldn't bring himself to correct her. This time, his heart actually feels like it's going to get out of his chest. He places a hand on it, breathing in and out like Takane had taught him to do.

When he opens his eyes again, Momo's still there. She still looking at him with those anxious eyes, but most importantly, she's alive. She had stepped back once she saw him react, and simply sat on the coffee table to wait for him to relax.

"Haruka," she gets his name right this time, and says it with the softest voice he's ever heard from her. "Did you have a bad dream?"

A bad dream. Of course he had one.

He'd like to yawn, smile, and tell her it was okay. But his mind felt way too wobbly and unstable to even get a word out. It felt like the room was spinning, but he didn't want to close his eyes in fear he saw something bad again. He just nods.

"It's okay," she sounded a bit awkward, stealing a glance of something out of Haruka's sight. "We... we're here."

He nods again, and covers his face. He takes in a big breath before speaking, "I'm sorry. I'm awake now."

"You better. You almost gave us a heart attack with that scream," Haruka hears someone talking behind him, to whom Momo immediately glares at.

"Don't be insensitive, Hibiya-kun!"

Hibiya was suddenly in front of him, crossing his arms and entirely disregarding his presence, "I'm just saying!"

Haruka was feeling very, very confused right now. He looks around to check his surroundings, and he sees he's still in the Kisaragis' living room. The tv showed some sort of menu that asked "are you still watching?" with two options underneath it. He's still on the couch, and his neck felt horrible, probably from using the armrest one of his arms (which also felt horrible) as pillows. His legs are curled up next to him, feeling very, very sore as well.

Shintaro was sprawled on the other side of the couch, taking most of the space, also looking like he'd just woken up, "Who turned on the light."

"No one," Momo rolls her eyes. "It's just the sun."

"Disgusting."

"Well, you're unbelievable," she gets up from the coffee table and takes the four steps she needed to get to her brother. "You're a terrible host! I bet you and Haruka have been sitting in this couch since yesterday!"

"Um, nu-uh," Shintaro answers, offended. "I helped him up a few times so he could go to the bathroom. I'm an awesome host."

"Nu-uh, you aren't! Everyone in the hideout was freaking out because Haruka hadn't gotten home at the hour he agreed on, and _you_  weren't answering your phone, and like an hour later I get a text back saying "he's staying the night lmao". What's wrong with you?"

"Jeez, sorry. We lost track of time. We were watching Star Wars, you can't blame us."

"I can't believe you kidnapped Haruka and forced him to watch Star Wars with you."

"I didn't kidnap him! He came here on his own free will. When I told him what the movies were about he said it was cool! Help me out, senpai!"

Haruka, on the other hand, was busy trying not to die from a headache. He shakes his head, "I'm sorry but I have no idea what's happening."

"Kind of same, actually. Why are Hibiya and Hiyori here?"

"It's a long weekend," a girl's voice rings from Haruka's side, and he also almost has a heart attack when he turns around to see Hiyori staring at him, with her face way too close. He makes sure to awkwardly move away as much as his sore body allowed him to. "Sorry, Konoha! Didn't mean to scare you. Was your bad dream really bad?"

"It's– it's fine," he tries to smile, feeling himself slightly more recovered from the nightmare. What he answers then is actually a lie, but he didn't want to alarm her, "It wasn't that bad."

"Oh, you poor thing!"

Before Hiyori could pet his head or whatever she was planning on doing, Hibiya quickly gets in the middle of it. He seemed nervous and way too interested in getting Hiyori away from there, so his voice was unnecessarily loud, "WOW, NOT THAT BAD HE SAYS. Then why did you scream like a girl, huh!?"

"Are you saying screaming like a girl is bad?" Hiyori glacially answered, losing her sweet façade. "Wow, Hibiya, I didn't know you were such a gross sexist."

"WHAT."

"Why are they _here_?" Shintaro luckily interrupts, gesturing to the bags the kids had with them. "It's not like they're staying with us. Why didn't you take them straight to the hideout?"

" _Because_ ," Momo growls, "we were gonna pick Haruka up on our way there, so the four of us could go back together. And I'll have you know that earlier I sent you a text saying the exact same thing I'm telling you right now."

"You didn't text me, I would've read it," her brother argued, checking his phone's notifications. "See? No new– Oh."

"Told you."

"Yeah well," Shintaro rubbed his eyes as he sat up, swallowing back a yawn, "You're already here, Haruka's awake, _whatever_."

"Ugh, you can be so–"

As the siblings began what is most likely their daily rutine, Haruka felt the urgent need of getting up. God, if his physiotherapist saw him in this position, she'd kill him. Plus, he really wanted to go to the bathroom to wash up because he felt gross and a bit self-conscious. But he didn't have his toothbrush here, and forget about a change of clothes. Staying over wasn't planned, after all, but he'd like to at least wash his face or something.

Alas, his wheelchair was way too far away from him. If it was at his reach, he could unfold it and sit by himself, as he does have enough strength to (sort of) stand up and do stuff like change seats. But it wasn't, so he was going to have to ask someone.

Momo and Shintaro were busy arguing, so there were only two other options,

"Hibiya-kun, Hiyori-chan," he called, and both immediately looked back at him. Hibiya was very uninterested, whilst Hiyori got the biggest grin ever after he said her name. "Could you, um, bring me my wheelchair please?"

"No."

"Of course!"

He thanks Hiyori as she happily skipped to where Shintaro had left his wheelchair the last time he helped him sit, only to be joined by Momo. The girl seemed to have gotten bored of fighting with her brother and quickly let him talking by himself to go help Hiyori.

"Honestly, you're so infuriating," she muttered, angrily opening up the wheelchair by practically stealing it away from Hiyori, which didn't seem to make her happy. She still didn't complain.

As she pushed it over to Haruka's direction, she turned to Shintaro again, who continued to say things to her. She put her hands on her waist, looking a lot like Ayano did when she scolded her siblings (Kano, most often).

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, big bro! We're going now, so you don't have to deal with us!"

Shintaro opened his mouth to answer her but quickly shut it again. Almost like he was going to yell at her, but since he found no reason to, he tried to shrug it off. He rolled his eyes, and continued more calmly, "Well, what if I want to go with you guys?"

Momo blinks, nonplussed. She refused to take her eyes off of him, as if trying to look for a sign of sarcasm. Finding none, she shifts her attention onto Haruka, "Did you brainwash my brother?"

"No!" Haruka replies, slightly scared at the seriousness she used to accuse him. As he accommodated himself in the wheelchair (with Hiyori's unnecessary and way too touchy assistance), he smiled nervously, "Just talked to him, I swear."

"It's fine, all he did was put up with my obnoxious attitude," Shintaro waved a hand to emphasize it wasn't a big deal. He gets up from the couch, and yawned as he stretched his arms behind his head, "But I'm gonna take your advice and shower first, sis. Be right back."

As Shintaro's footsteps traveled upstairs, Momo's jaw dropped open.

"What the fuck."

"Momo-chan, language!" Haruka exclaimed, terrified Hibiya and Hiyori's sensitive ears would be exposed to such words.

"S – sorry..."

Said kids weren't even paying attention, though. Hiyori was busy not so subtly taking pictures of him and Hibiya was busy suffering about it. Haruka didn't question them.

* * *

 

"I didn't know you already had you own set of keys?"

"I don't, this one is Takane's."

"Hear that, Hiyori? Konoha and Ene share their set of keys. A pretty coupley thing to do, don't you think?"

"Shut up, Hibiya."

The way back to the hideout wasn't long, and it was a lot more fun now that he was accompanied. Of course, he's proud he managed to do well by himself in the city, but Haruka knows it's always nicer to be with people.

He fiddles with the keys, trying to be extra careful when opening the door (in case the key got stuck or something!).

Momo's been teasing Shintaro the whole way here simply for taking a shower, and Haruka felt a bit sorry for him; he doesn't get a break, does he? She also mentioned she stayed over at the hideout last night, and continued to tell Haruka she borrowed his futon and his roommate for the night (continuously saying "lol" again).

Meanwhile, Hibiya and Hiyori spent the time fussing over him. Hibiya was quiet during the first half of their walk, but apparently became interested when Haruka answered Hiyori's question about what he did at the Kisaragis'.

All Haruka had said was that he and Shintaro watched movies together all night, to which she answered he must be tired. He was, admittedly, but he wasn't new to it.

It was inevitable; Takane had taken care of introducing him to binge watching. It had been one of the first things she's done with him, to make him watch a ton of movies and series she said he used to like, and some that she thought he'd like. It left his eyes very sore, but gosh, the stories in the screen are very interesting–

But once he mentioned Takane, Hibiya perked up and jumped in the conversation, asking all sorts of questions about her and asking Hiyori's opinion on the answers. He commented it was sweet of them to call each other by their real names (as these kids still insisted on calling him by Konoha, and only knew Takane by Ene), talked about how sweet it was of "Ene" to take him see places he's never seen, asked how was it like to share a room with her, stuff like that.

At some point, Haruka began to believe that maybe Hibiya had a crush on Takane. Hmmm...

As they stepped inside, Hiyori promptly ran away from Hibiya and his excitement about Haruka and Takane's relationship as fast as she could. He was quick to kick off his sandals and go after her.

He couldn't help his smile as he rolled in the apartment's dining room, where the Dan prepared for lunch.

Seto held a lot of dishes as he waited for Ayano to finish smoothing the tablecloth on the table (which they never used, but she probably wanted it to look nice for Hibiya and Hiyori's visit) and Mary was putting up a small "welcome back!" sign on the wall, for some reason. Kano and Kido were in the kitchen; Kido was cooking and Kano was probably just pestering her.

Haruka notes they must just be excited about the kids' visit. He smiles to himself when he remembers Shintaro also came; they will be extra happy! And his smile only got bigger when he spotted Takane, and she spotted him.

The smile wasn't about to disappear, even if Takane approached him with a scary velocity, scary face, and scary everything.

" _Haruka_."

"Hey!" he said, quickly remembering he wanted the bathroom to wash-up. Takane didn't look like she went up to him only to say hi, though, so he wanted to make it quick. "What did I do?"

"What did you do!?" she crossed her arms, angrily bouncing her foot on the floor. "You agreed to come back at five yesterday and you didn't! If you were gonna stay over you should've told Shintaro to text us _before_  five, not hours later! We thought something happened to you!"

"It wasn't _hours_  later..." he defended himself, weakly. He used the same excuse as Shintaro; maybe it'd work on her. "But I'm sorry, you're right. We were watching Star Wars and lost track of time."

It wasn't really an excuse, either. It was just the truth!

"What!" it didn't calm her down, but it shifted her anger into surprise. "Man, that's so unfair! I wanted to watch that with you!"

"Well, I beat you to it. But you got to watch the MCU with him, so don't complain."

She's only further surprised when Shintaro appears, and Haruka sees the way everyone in the room goes slightly quiet for a moment. _Everyone_  was surprised to see him, and once he realized he was the center of attention, the smugness he walked in with vanished.

Takane wasn't about to lose her cool, though, so she erased any signs of her former expression and rolled her eyes. "You don't even like superheroes."

"True."

"Shintaro-kun!?" Ayano's scream ringed from the other side of the room, leaving the matter at hand (finally allowing Seto to put the dishes down) to rush over them. She ran towards Shintaro, stopping only when she was about to crash against him. "Oh my god! You're actually here! Like, here here!"

Shintaro took a few steps back when he got uncomfortable at Ayano's very close proximity, "Err, yeah, I am–"

"Oh my _god_ , the entire Mekakushi Dan is finally together for the first time in such a long time! Gosh, Mary-chan, the sign is now more essential than ever! And Kousuke, this is VERY special, we need to take the nice glasses out!"

"It's only been a few weeks since the last time we've been together, big sis, calm down–"

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN AND TAKE THE NICE GLASSES OUT!"

As Seto nervously explained to his sister that they didn't have anything other than their usual glasses and the nice ones she was talking about were in their childhood home, Ayano became more and more astonished, and quickly dismissed the subject to go to the kitchen to freak out some more about something else.

Haruka chuckled at the scene, before remembering the tension between the two people with him. He anxiously glanced at them; Takane was looking away, and he knew her far too well to guess she was about to _somehow_  manage to escape from here.

When he looked at Shintaro, Haruka gestured towards Takane with his head, because something told him he was planning to escape too. Fortunately, that seemed enough encouragement for him.

Just as Takane began to walk away, Shintaro spoke up, "Takane!"

It was probably louder than he anticipated, Haruka thought, but it was better than nothing. Still, it obviously grabbed everyone's attention.

Ayano and Kano had immediately popped their heads out of the kitchen to see, and Haruka could see Kido trying to surreptitiously look as well. Mary and Seto tried to be polite and focused in the matters they had at hand, although the way they individually stole glances of them wasn't very dissimulated. Hibiya and Hiyori also watched, and Haruka wasn't really sure if they even knew about the fight Takane and Shintaro had. Maybe Momo had filled them in, who had no shame in the way she stared.

Takane scanned the room and everyone's eyes on them, notably getting uncomfortable with all of the attention. She shares a look with Haruka before finally looking back at Shintaro, "...What?"

"I, um," as Shintaro avoided looking back at the way she raised her eyebrow, he searched for some sort of encouragement from Haruka. He just smiled and gestured towards Takane again (which she saw very well), because he honestly couldn't do more than that at this point. Shintaro takes in a breath, "Can we talk?"

In the silence that follows the question, only Ayano's small voice could be heard from the kitchen, saying "I think I might cry..."

Ignoring her, Takane also takes in a breath before answering, "Yeah, okay."

Of course, everyone watches as Takane and Shintaro silently go into the corridor (Haruka guesses they're going to his and Takane's room to talk) but there isn't that same tension. If anything, everyone looked pretty relieved.

"Finally. I was starting to think they'd be at each other's throats for the rest of eternity," Kido said, once the two of them had left. "Still, they better make it quick because food is gonna be ready in fifteen."

"I don't even care how long they take _as long_  as they make up– Oh, Haruka-san!" Ayano was absolutely euphoric, practically buzzing with excitement as she made her way towards him. "Haruka-san, Haruka-san, Haruka-san!"

He only smiled as she got closer, until she was way too close, and then she was hugging him. And– the thing about hugging someone who's on a wheelchair, is that you get your chest all over their faces. And Ayano's a girl, so no matter how much he loved her as a sister, he still felt pretty awkward.

"That's– that's enough, Ayano-chan, I get the sentiment–"

"I can't believe you didn't only get him to come but you also got him to talk to Takane-san!" she totally dismisses what she just did, and breaks her embrace to kneel down next to him and be face to face; she could be so familiar with him sometimes. Too familiar. "Did you brainwash him or something!?"

"That's the same thing I asked him when big bro said he'd shower today!" Momo laughed. "But apparently all Haruka did was put up with him! Which is a lot in itself, so he did great!"

"Yay! Tsubomi, make sure to give Haruka-san extra servings today!"

"I make sure of that everyday. If I didn't, he'd eat all of us."

And when everyone laughed, Haruka felt the happiest he's been in a while.


End file.
